I think I'm loosing my mind!

For some reason I keep having dreams that someone breaks into my home and kidnaps Gage. I guess it's just my worst fear with all of the crazy people in this world. Then this morning I thought my worst fear had come true. Here's what happened ...

Last week I had a photographer come to the house to take some pictures of Gage. I figured that would be a great Christmas present for the 4 sets of grandparents that Gage has. The girl came to the house and was really nice but came off like she might have been on something. After that night I started having bad dreams about someone breaking into the house and taking him. Then last night she came back to deliver the CD with all of the pictures. Only she brought her husband with her. They walked into the house and I caught a really odd vibe from her husband. First off he is a tattoo artist and I am sure a very nice guy but he had tattoo's on his face and they were alittle freaky. He didn't crack a single smile, although I am sure he was uncomfortable being in a strangers house. He hovered over her very closely as we stood over the computer looking at the prints. She kept asking to see Gage who was comfortably relaxing in his bouncer chair in the living room. So I brought her over to see him. She asked to hold him and I obliged then she walked over to her husband saying isn't he the cutest baby ever, he's my little buddy. I thought it was cute but this guy still didn't crack any sort of smile. He just looked angry/evil. Shortly after that they left. We locked up the house and went back to our normal routine put Gage to bed and then we went to sleep. Patrick and I have been switching off every other morning on getting up with Gage for his feeding. The routine is Gage usually wakes up between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. eats a bottle and then goes back to bed in his bouncer. He would go back to bed in his crib but his window faces east so the sun shines in his window and since the window is over sized we had to custom order a black out curtain and well it's not here yet. So when we put him down after his feeding he goes into his bouncer and sleeps in the living room so that Patrick's snoring doesn't wake him. As a courtesy to each other on the mornings I get up with Gage I turn the baby monitor off so that Gage's crying doesn't wake Pat up and Patrick does the same on his mornings. So anyway back to the point I wake up from my bad dream at about 10 to 6, completely shaken I look at the clock and look at the monitor. Why don't I hear the baby snoring I run to Gage's room and look down into the crib. He's not there! My reaction ..... scream bloody murder! Patrick jumps out of bed to see whats going on. At this point I'm on the floor crying and screaming he's gone. Amy he's in the bouncer. I'm sobbing so uncontrollably I don't hear what Patrick is saying so he picks Gage up and brings him to me. I sat on the floor for what felt like and eternity clinging to Gage so happy to see him. I guess he woke up around 4 a.m. and Patrick heard him chewing on his hand so he got up to check on him and decided to feed him and put him in his bouncer. In an attempt not to wake me since I have been sleeping so bad from those dreams. It never even occurred to me that he might have already been in his bouncer I am just so use to waking up to his cries when I didn't hear them I immediately thought the worst. Then seeing the monitor on it just didn't register that he might have already been up. After all calmed down I asked Pat why he didn't turn the monitor off and he admitted that the girls husband scared him alittle as well and he wanted to make sure he could hear on the other side of the house.

Something happening to Gage is my worst fear. If anything ever happened to him, I just don't know what I would do with myself. He's my world! Sometimes when I watch the news and see yet another child has been kidnapped, I catch myself saying "Thank god that isn't my child". My heart just sinks for those families who have had someone kidnap there child. Dreaming about it is bad enough, I just truly couldn't imagine living out that nightmare.

Time to sort things out.

I had to step back from my blog for a minute to sort things out. I needed to get some things in my life back in order and prioritize the things that felt like they were falling apart. In particular my marriage. I knew in order to get him out of his funk and get him back on track we had to stabilize out living arrangements and with that we moved to a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment. Now that we are situated in our new home and Gage has his own room we could spend more time as a family and just enjoy being together. And that we have. In addition I have fully revamped the company I work for and have taken control of getting the office organized and back up to where we once were. We have made lots of great contacts and have partnered up with a direct lender meaning we can now pretty much write our own loans. It's a wonderful feeling having that much control again. With that much business going on I have given Patrick a home working with me to help us advertise and generate new business. The plus side of that, although we both work from home we are both around to take care of Gage. And in addition Patrick can continue to focus on school, and since he is doing something he enjoys he has not been drinking. Things are finally coming together. Slowly, but I can't complain.

I have to admit this has been one of the best and worst years of my life. In one year I have given birth to my son, lost my grandmother to cancer, made some wonderful friends, lost Elaine my best friends step mother (she was like a mother to me) to cancer, watched my little boy grow for 3 wonderful months, almost lost my little boy to meningitis, reconnected with my husband, almost left my husband due to alcohol abuse, finally got to see my cousin that moved to Australia 8 years ago although I wish it had been for better reasons other then a funeral. So much more has happened but these are the events that stick out the most in my mind. 2009 will definitely be a year that goes down in history for me. And although there have been good times and bad, I look forward to what 2010 has to offer.

I am eternally grateful to you girls for supporting me and helping me get through this year. You have all become like a second family to me. Thank you for letting my into your lives.

How much bull s&%t can one person take

I love my husband don't get me wrong. But how much pain can one person cause you before you have to say you have had enough. Tonight I realized that I am at that point. And although I hate to say it, I'm tempted to walk away. I don't think I have ever talked about Patrick's drinking before but let me start by saying it's pretty bad. To the point I would call him an alcoholic. In our 6 plus years of being together it has gotten worse each year. To some it's funny to watch him get drunk and act a fool. To others the way he act's is beyond annoying and they can't stand to be around him. I am one of those people that finds it annoying.

Patrick knows no limit. He is not capable of socially sitting down with friend and having a drink or two. He acts like a frat boy every time alcohol is around. I am constantly making excuses for him, but I feel that now with Gage around I need to stop doing that. I want to set an example for my son and the only example I am setting now is that it's ok to drink like a fish and act like a loser. I have tried to talk to Patrick's mom and show her just how bad it can be and she makes the excuse of telling me it's in there blood. I just don't know how much more I can take. Tonight I actually asked him to call his mom and have her come get him. I told him I was done and couldn't take it any more. And it's not a lie, I really am done. I just feel like I have been pushed to far. I am tired of making excuses for him. I know he thinks it's a joke and I will get over it in the morning but it's not. I am just at the end of my rope. He refuses help and feels he doesn't have a problem but I know he does. And I know it's not all in my head. I just never imagined I would get to this point.

Gage was in the hospital, my grandma passed away and other updates

I have been so bad at blogging but that is mainly because I was out of town for a while with no computer. So where do I begin ...
October has been a horrible month for me. I went to Florida in the beginning of the month because my grandma was released from rehab into home hospice care, and wanted to see Gage before she passed. So we caught the first flight out to see her. Before I go any further let me explain what happened to my grandmother because as some of you may back in May we were told that she had lung cancer but the mass had not spread. She was told by a Dr that she had a long life left and many years left to live. Well about a month after the lymph node biopsy my grandmother started having problems talking, and her energy level dropped. Her feet swelled up and she was having a hard time breathing and functioning. She went back to her Dr who told her to wait it out for 6 months and if she was still having troubled come back. Then in August she got to the point where she couldn't even get out of bed she was in so much pain. My mother and Aunt flew out to Florida to see what was going on and upon there arrival had to rush my grandmother to the hospital. This time the Dr's blamed her heart and decided it was in her best interest to have a pace maker put in. After the surgery they put her into a rehab so that she could learn how to function with the pace maker and walk with a walker. The pace maker did nothing to help my grandmother function and her breathing continued to get worse. My mother keep asking if she had pneumonia and the Dr's insisted it wasn't. Questioning the Dr's at the rehab my mother brought in a new Dr to give a second opinion, and discovered my grandmother did in fact have pneumonia. From the new Dr we learned that the lymph node biopsy must have been botched and in the process they must have harmed her epiglottis so when my grandmother would eat or drink instead of the epiglottis closing so food wouldn't get into her lungs it remained open so everything she ate and drank filled up her lungs causing pneumonia. In addition to that opening my grandmother up for the pace maker surgery cause the cancer to spread to most of her vital organs. At that point my grandmother decided she was ready to die and in the beginning of October she was released from rehab and sent home with home hospice care to pass away. At her request all of the grandchildren were flown out Gage and my nephew Reece included so that my grandmother could see us and have us all by her side to say her final goodbyes. On October 8th my grandmother peacefully passed away with Me, Gage, my Aunt Lynn, my Cousin Randy and my mother by her side. On October 10th (Patrick's birthday) Gage had a temperature of 102.7 and I immediately took him to the Dada county hospital. After an hour waiting in the waiting room we were taken back and told an ambulance would be taking us to West Palm Beach hospital pediatrics unit. One quick ambulance ride later we were rushed back into the ER where Gage was given a spinal to check for Meningitis and an IV with antibiotics and fluids. It took 5 days for his fever to break and at one point I was told by the Dr to prepare for the worst. Patrick was stuck out in Vegas taking care of my little sister while my step father and my mom were attending my grandmothers funeral. So for 5 nights and 6 days I stayed alone in the hospital taking care of Gage. Missing my grandmothers funeral and with no help from family. It was the worst week of my life. The day Gage was released from the hospital I decided to fly home. Dr advised me it was the safest time to fly with him since he had antibiotics in his system, so we took a direct flight home and have been back and recovering since. 2 Days after we got back we got a call from the ER Dr that Gage's spinal showed he had viral meningitis. It was a relief to finally know what was wrong with him. But it broke my heart that my little boy was so sick, Even now that we have been back for alittle over a week Gage still has a horrible cough that keeps me up at night making sure he doesn't choke. I'm just so grateful to be home and have me little boy with me. It has truly been a rough month but now that I am back and things are starting to get back to normal I will make sure to post more often. Also since we have been back Gage had his first set of professional pictures taken I will post those and some pictures of him in the hospital so everyone can see how big he has gotten. I hope everyone is well and I will be catching up on my blog reading this week between Gage's naps.

Time flies when your getting no sleep =)

Not that I'm complaining though. These past 3 weeks have been amazing and super busy. I never realized getting use to having a baby around took so long. But I love him to death and wouldn't change a thing! We had our first Dr appointment, everything looks great. Gage had his circumcision. That was an experience I never want to go through again!!! Just seeing him in pain broke my heart. He now weighs 7lbs 7oz so he is growing like a weed. His personality is starting to show alittle and he is quite the ham. Patrick and I have nicknames him our little shark because when he is feeding and going to latch on to the bottle be turns his head back and forth like he is attacking something. It's pretty cute if I do say so myself. =) Other then just adjusting to every day stuff things have been great!

Introducing Gage William Rieger

Born September 1st @ 1:33 p.m. weighing 6lbs 15oz and 19 inches long. So let me explain why he came a day earlier ...

On Tuesday morning I had my appointment with the peri for my amnio. I woke up from what I thought was nerves and realized I was having contractions. They were super far apart so I waited it out until my 9 a.m. Dr appointment. When we arrived I informed the nurse about my contractions and she decided to put me on the monitor and see what was going on. Sure enough I was contracting about 10 minutes apart and they were long and painful. (Some lasting up to 4 minutes.) As the nurse came in to check on me she noticed that during my long contractions Gage's heartbeat dropped from the high 140's to the 60's. With that being said she pulled the printout and went to go show the Dr. Less then 5 minutes later the Dr came in to tell me that the Amnio was not going to take place, instead they were sending me on my way to L&D, where my OB would be waiting for me. With that I was congratulated and pushed out the door. We made a quick stop home for my bags and off we went to the hospital. Once we arrived I was prepped and pushed into the OR. I didn't even have a minute to blink it was all happening so fast. My Dr came in and talked me through the spinal block and less then 20 minutes later I heard the most beautiful noise I had ever heard, Gage crying. I was told to look up only to see my OB holding Gage over the curtain. He was beautiful! They whisked Patrick away to cut the cord and I insisted he go with Gage to the nursery to be cleaned up. The c-section itself went amazingly well. I have to assume since there was no time to be nervous before, it helped ease any stress. Patrick rejoined me in recovery where he showed me pictures of our little boy getting his first bath. I wish I wasn't so drugged up I would have loved to take a picture of Patrick's face. He was glowing and had this big smile from ear to ear. Less then an hour after getting out of recovery I was pushed into my room where I was greeted by a ton of family amazed to see me awake and functioning so well. I had it in my head that if I looked like I was in pain or I was asleep that they wouldn't bring me my baby. So I smiled and pretended that what I had just gone through was no biggy. Thank god for the 24 hour morphine drip or else I would have been in big trouble. When they brought Gage in the room it was alittle odd. I knew he was mine but it was just this odd feeling of is that him is he really my baby??? 6 days later and I still look at him questioning if it's all a dream. He is just so beautiful and amazing. Patrick took control the first night, feeding him and changing his diapers. He really stepped up to the plate. Not that I expected any less of him but just watching him in daddy mode was wonderful. Even now that were home when I wake up with the baby he gets up with me just to make sure that I'm ok. As for the healing from the c-section... Piece of cake! I did not expect to feel as good as I do. I have been take pain pills when necessary. But for the most part I can make it all day without needing anything. What else can I say, I am just so in love with this little boy it just makes everything I went through TTC wise worth it.

Here are some pictures of me little love bug... enjoy!

Holy Cow, Wednesday is almost here!

I took my last injection of Fragmin last night and tomorrow I go for my Amnio. I am so super duper excited. Wednesday can't come fast enough. I am going to try to post pictures on Gage's baby site from the hospital so feel free to stop in and check. http://www.babysites.com/sites/gagerieger/ if for any reason I can't I will do it on facebook. So for those of you not already friends with me on facebook, feel free to send me a request before 11 a.m. pacific time on Wednesday. http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=Amy+rieger&o=2048&init=ffs#/profile.php?id=560125892&ref=search&sid=560125892.1985297836..1

1 week from today

I will be holding my little boy in my arms. Yep, that's right my c-section is scheduled for next Wednesday September 2nd at 1:30 p.m. and I couldn't be happier. We were originally planning on Tuesday evening but the hospital couldn't accommodate. I'm alittle sad but it's only a day ... right? Yesterday I meet with my new peri, yep you heard that right new Peri. My OB decided the old one was stressing me out and his lack of communication was just not working for either one of us. So he set me up to go to another Dr in the same practice that happens to be the owner. I have to tell you I love him. He was on point and ready to make a plan as soon as I walked in. Unfortunately for me the hospital could not accommodate our plan so we had to deviate and come up with something new. So my plan is as follows Sunday I take my last fragmin injections, on Tuesday I go to the peri for monitoring and an amnio. If Gage's lungs are developed (and from the ultrasounds they looks fine) I check into the hospital on Wednesday afternoon. And by 1:30 I will be going in for surgery. I'm super freaked out over the c-section but excited that my little boy will be here. As for how Gage is doing, little boy weighs about 6lbs 12oz and his heartbeat was a beautiful 148bpm. His little face still looks as chubby as ever so it's going to be funny to see if he looks like that in real life. His big head is still in the 95th percentile (not that I expected it to get any smaller). Only small issue is his fluids are alittle low but not in a dangerous level. I have been drinking water like it's going out of style, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Well anyway that is the game plan for now. Hopefully it wont change. I will try to get on and update before Wednesday but if for some stupid reason I can't I will post some pictures as soon as I get home.

A quick update ....

before Patrick yells at me for being out of bed and on the computer. It has been a crazy rough week. Last week we packed up the house and moved everything into storage. We are currently staying at my moms until the people in the house we will be renting move. They are suppose to be out by next weekend.
I have been in and out of the hospital for pre-term labor and am currently being monitored every other day at the Peri's office to monitor Gage's heartbeat as well as contractions. We have had 2 episodes with Gage's heartbeat dropping after strong contractions but no one seems to worry about that other then me and Pat. I lost my plug last Wednesday and I am currently dilate to a 2 and 100% effaced. Other then that I am boring and on bed rest. Patrick has stayed home to take care of me. FMLA is a blessing! But he does yell at me whenever I am on the computer for more then 10 minutes. So having him home isn't always fun. My baby shower was last Saturday and it went extremely well. I got most if not all of the big things I need and now all I need to do is get the nursery all set up. That will happen in due time. I am starting to accept that he might get here before his room is complete. But since he will be in our room for the first month or so I'm ok with that.
I'm sorry for not commenting lately and I promise as soon as I am off bed rest (@ 36 weeks) I will make sure to catch up on my reading. For now know you are all in my thoughts & prayers.

It is what it is

So my appointment with the peri went as good as can be expected. I am still having contractions but no one seems to be worried about that but me. They refused to check me because they didn't want to irritate my cervix. On a bright note Gage has managed to partially free himself from the cord. It is no longer around his neck but it is still across the front of it. Meaning if he rolls over it will be back around him. But I feel better for the time being thinking that he is partially free. Other then that things are pretty much the same. I still hate the peri and I wish I was far enough along to let Gage come out. But I'm not so with that I guess I have a few more weeks of torture to go.

In other fun news the invitations for my baby shower went out today. Since my sister was slacking my mother and MIL are throwing it for me. We decided to do it on August 8th in fear that Gage was going to come in the very near future. Although I feel bad about the short amount of time I'm giving people to respond I made sure to call everyone and apologize and explain what was going on. No one really seemed to mind, or at least no one said anything to me. And the annoying part, after things were planned my sister called me up asking me to help her book her trip home for that weekend so that she could come. If you ask me she was just trying to get out of throwing it for me. And in addition she had the audacity to tell me that her gift to me for my shower was her coming home. I'm alittle annoyed by this since I always end up spending a ton of money on her (ex: her batchelorette party cost me close to $2k after limo, show tickets, drinks, and strippers. For mine we went to a spa and if cost her all of $400 since she was only paying for herself and me (and we got a locals discount), Her wedding I was only 21 and my boyfriend at the time was living in Korea (military) so I went alone but still ended up giving her $400. For mine she brought a date and neither of them even gave us a card. Her baby shower between food, decorations and a gift I spent over $800, for mine she bought a $460 airline ticket) I could go on but I don't want to sound like I am keeping a running tab although as you can see I am. The sad part of this is she is the older sister and makes alot of money. She always talks a big game about what she's going to do for me and never comes through. You would think by now I would be use to it but it still hurts not to be treated the same as I treat her. The only thing I'm grateful for is that when she comes home she will be bringing Reece with her. And I miss my little boogy so having him around will definitely make things better.

Let the games begin

So I'm at home relaxing playing on the computer when suddenly it hits me like a ton of bricks. Sharp stabbing pains, strong enough to take my breath away. I do as I was originally told to do when I have cramps and I get a bottle of water to drink and lay in bed on my left side. 30 minutes goes by and the pain does not seem to be going away. So I call my mom who urges me to go to L&D. Realizing the pain I'm in there is no way I could drive the 20 minute drive to the hospital I'm registered for. Makes no sense to drive that far in that much pain when there is a hospital right across the street from me. So I call Patrick who I am unable to get a hold of (he was at work). Get in the car and hope that I can get across the busy intersection and get to the hospital as fast as possible. I pull up to the front and notice the main exit is close because it was after 7. So I drive around the building to emergency and find a parking spot right up front. Beautiful! I enter the hospital holding my belly and hunched over because it feels better standing that way with how sharp the cramps are. The security guard takes one look at me and asks me if I need a wheelchair. No time for that I say back, just point me in the direction of L&D. He walks with me to the elevator and pushes the button for the 3rd floor. Good luck young lady he says as the doors close. I arrive at my floor exit the elevator and walk the few steps to the nurses station. I give her a full summary of whats been going on. I'm having sharp cramps in my back and lower abdomen, I was having contractions Monday but my Dr put me on Procardia to stop them. My baby has a cord around his neck I am on blood thinners and I am in massive pain. Ok hunny she says back. Well we have no beds right now, so I'm going to need you to wait in the waiting room. HUH! Are you kidding me. No dear it shouldn't take to long. So I wobble up to the waiting room and take a seat. Patrick finally calls, I tell him whats going on and he hangs up to try to leave the office and head my way. My mom shows up and spots me in the waiting room and immediately freaks out so she goes in the back to yell at he nurse. I'm in tears when the man sitting next to me says. If you need anything just let me know. I'm one hell of a catcher. I want to laugh but the cramps are killing me. I try to smile back but end up looking evil. My mom returns and with a nurse and a wheel chair and they quickly take me back. I have no idea what my mom said to make them come get me but whatever it was it worked. They bring me back to a delivery room and get me hooked up to a monitor. The nurse doesn't even try to locate Gage's heartbeat she just sticks the sensor wherever and goes to attach the contraction monitor. Well it doesn't look like your having contractions. My mom turns to her and says well it doesn't look like to attached either of the sensors properly. The nurse excuses herself from the room and that was the last we saw of her. 10 minutes later the RN come in the room and re attaches the monitor's. As soon as she puts her hand on my tummy she confirms I am having contractions and they seem pretty strong. She stays with me for a good 10 minutes watching my contractions on the monitor while touching my tummy. Well hunny your contractions are about 2 minutes apart. We are going to have to give you something to stop them. Patrick arrives just in time to hold my hand. The Nurse exits and returns shortly with a shot of Terbutaline. Administers my first injection and stays with me to monitor if it's working or not. 15 minutes later .... nothing. Time for shot number #2 and a dose of Procardia. Within 10 minutes the contractions slow down drastically. And I can finally breath a sigh of relief. All the while Gage's heartbeat was not affected and he responded really well to my contractions. After another hour on the monitor they let me go home to rest. I called my Peri this morning and he told me no need to come in today he will just see me tomorrow. I love the health care system in Nevada. As for today I have been having contractions but they have been very mild and far apart. I go to the Peri tomorrow to monitor Gage and will hopefully get some answers. I can not spend the next few weeks bouncing back and forth between L&D.

What a mess

I went to the Peri's office to do my twice weekly monitoring and ultrasound to check on the cord. Gage still has it around his neck and from the looks of it he was trying to chew his way through it. Thankfully he has no teeth so that's not going to happen. I was put on the monitor at 9:45 a.m. and after 15 minutes of listening to his heartbeat the nurse came in to check the printout. Her actions made me nervous as she studied the paper. He must be asleep, hmmmm lets give you some juice and see if that wakes him up. She left the room and returned a few moments later with apple juice and a buzzer. First lets try to buzz him and see if he moves. She made three attempts and he didn't even flinch. Well I'm sure the juice will get him going. Drink it as fast as you can and I will be back shortly. She exited the room leaving me to think something must be wrong. 45 minutes went by and no one came to check on me. By this time I was a nervous wreck and in tears calling my mother begging her to come to the office and wait with me. Another 15 minutes later and with my mom on the road heading my way the nurse returned. She again studied the printout and excused herself. By this time I was sure something was not right. Another nurse returned and asked me how long I had been having contractions. I'm not having contractions I replied. I have been having period like cramps off and on for the past week but every time I came in and asked the Dr if that was contractions he told me no, it was just the babies big head on my pelvis. Well sure enough I was having contractions and they were pretty close together. They immediately took me into an exam room and did a fibronectin test and checked my cervix. I am officially 80% effaced and not dilated. To combat the contractions I was put on Procardia and then sent home to over analyze every cramp, twinge or lack of movement. The Procardia makes me feel like crap and I can still feel the cramps. But when the nurse called to give me the results of the fibronectin test and I informed her of that she just acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. On the up side the test came back negative. On the down side I now have no clue if I should worry or not. I let the nurse know that Gage was still not moving around and her answer to me was if his movements slow down any more to go L&D. I quickly said well whats slower then nothing??? And her answer was well you'll know. So great now I get to be worried and become a psychic? I mean I know my body but I can not guess whats going on. If only I had x-ray vision. My mom has spent the remainder of my day by my side taking care of me and making sure I was ok. She finally got to see first hand how big of a group or idiots I'm dealing with. So that's my update for now. The procardia is kicking my ass and I need to lay down but I will make sure to update when I have more news. For now lets hope that the fibronectin test was right and I am not going to g into labor in the next 2 weeks. But my luck it will be wrong and he will be here before I can blink.

After a long weekend of nerves

So on Saturday night I went to L&D to talk to my OB. I had to wait over an hour to see him but after I told the nurse what was going on, she put me on the monitor so I could hear Gage's heartbeat and know he was ok. Dr G (my OB) showed up and had a baby to deliver but came in to reassure me he would be in as soon as possible to talk to me and find out what was going on. When he came into the room I quickly explained what I had been told by the Peri. Dr G had no idea and was pretty mad the that Peri didn't call him and talk to him about it. So together we listened to Gage's heartbeat and spent about 2 hours counting his movements. In those 2 hours we only recorded 3 movements. Then Dr G had the nurse bring me some juice and cookies to see if the sugar would get him going, but no such luck. We decided to take everything day by day. If I don't feel a movement and the time exceeds 3-4 hours at most I am to go to L&D immediately. After every appointment with the Peri I am to call and report back to Dr G on what the findings are. Dr G is also going to request copies of the ultrasound pic's so he can see the cord around Gage's neck, and check if it's wrapped more then one time. If so our plans will more then likely be to deliver in the very near future. I have to admit I feel a million times better after talking to Dr G. He has such great bedside manors and always knows how to make me feel better. Plus he talks to you like a friend and not just a Dr. I have total faith that Dr G will make sure we make it through this nightmare and walk away with a healthy little boy. Tomorrow I go in to the Peri's office for another ultrasound and to sit on the monitor for a half hour or so. I just pray that by some miracle Gage found a way on his own to get this cord off his neck. For now I'm going to try to get some sleep although I am sure it will end up being another sleepless night.

Going to stalk my Dr at the hospital.

I called over to the hospital and found out my OB was on call tonight. So since he never called me back I am going to go up there and talk to him, and let him now what is going on. He will give me a better indication of what to do or how worried to be. He is a much better people person then the peri. Hopefully I will walk away feeling alittle relieved. I can't have another sleepless night worried that if I turn a certain way I am going to pull on the cord around Gage's neck. I know it's unlikely but I need my Dr to tell me everything is going to be ok.

Chele, I'm going to make sure that I can have a meeting set up between both Dr's as well. We all need to be on the same page and I need an emergency plan set up. Lets just hope and pray that Gage untangles himself in the mean time.

Lauren, I will be 33 weeks tomorrow. There has been no talk about moving the date up but that is because the Peri doesn't make the decisions only my OB does. I would hope the Peri called my OB on Friday to keep him informed. But he is such a jack ass there is a chance he didn't.

I will post an update as soon as I get back tonight and let you girls know what my OB says.

Worried about Gage

I went to the Peri today for an ultrasound. Gage looked wonderful with his cute chubby cheeks. His head measured in the 95th percentile and he was in fact head down. His estimated weight 5 lbs 2 oz. Now for the bad news ... Gage has his cord wrapped around his neck. The Dr tried to play it off like it was no big deal but I'm freaked out. Over the last week or so Gage's movement has drastically slowed down. I let the Dr know and he said that was common in the 3T. Everything I have read states the opposite. They put me on the monitor for a about 30 minutes to check Gage's heart and see if I was having contractions and everything looked great. I am just so worried that something is going to happen to him with his cord around his neck. I wish they would let me deliver him now, even though it's early at least I know he would be safer on the outside. I tried to call me OB after the appointment but he never called back. I go back to the peri Monday morning and will continue to see him twice a week until Gage is born. I just don't know how I'm going to get through the weekend this worried.

Gage's website

I put together a little baby sites page for Gage so that I can post lots of pictures and updates on how he is doing. Feel free to check it out
http://www.babysites.com/sites/gagerieger/

Hormones of disaster

Yep that's right I have hormones of disaster. Yesterday I was depressed because of everything that is going on, I spent the most part of my day in bed crying and sulking. I don't know where this overwhelming feeling of depression has come from but hopefully it won't stick around to long. Then last night I was combative. I got online to facebook just to find something to do, and found myself getting into a fight with my cousin's husband over him poking fun at my sister. I have to tell you I am not to crazy about my cousins husband, he is kind of a douche bag. And I think I was looking for a reason or an opportunity to get into a fight with him. As soon as that moment presented itself I jumped on him like a lunatic. I have to admit it was pretty fun to put him in his place. As soon as that moment passed I was back to being depressed. Today I am all over the place, for the first time in a long time I had to pull myself out of bed and force myself to get my day going.

Molly has been super clingy and getting on my last nerve. I know she means well but if I could have a minute to pee in privacy without her either crying by the door to get in or trying to sit on my lap I would really appreciate it. Patrick keeps calling to check on me and that is really starting to bug me. I just don't know what my deal is today. I think I need a break from everything right now, if only I had the time to take a vacation!

32 Week Dr appointment ...

and still no induction date. I'm super bummed. Gage is doing great. He had a nice strong heartbeat and all is well. I on the other hand am measuring in at 37 weeks. Holy crap! I guess that explains why I am so uncomfortable. So the plan is, starting Friday I go to the peri twice a week for a fetal assessment. To check the placenta and just check on Gage in general to make sure that the blood thinners and thyroid meds don't make him go into fetal distress. I am just so stressed that something is going to go wrong. My injections scare the crap out of me in fear that I'm going to go into labor on my own and they take 24 hours to get out of my system. I'm getting super freaked out about labor & delivery. And in addition I have nothing ready for the baby. We are still planning on moving in 2 weeks. I haven't found a house, I haven't picked up the baby furniture and obviously have not gotten his room together. My sister is procrastinating with my baby shower trying to plan it around what mood she's in. I am just an all out mess right now, I could just cry! I already know these next few weeks are going to be hell. Hopefully something will work out in my favor.

House hunting stinks!

When I'm looking at houses for my clients I am alittle more open minded, but with us looking for a home we like I am being super picky. Every house we have looked at needs work. And I just don't have the time to buy a project house. Nothing is move in ready and the homes that are, sell almost overnight. I think I am at the point of apartment hunting. As much as I want our own home I'm just running out of time. Stress is taking over and I just can't be this stressed this far along in my pregnancy. Besides that it has been about 112 degrees the past few days and being about 8 months pregnant in that kind of heat is draining, and not healthy. So I plan on continuing my day looking at rental homes online and checking out a few apartments over the net as well. I officially give up!

Mosquito's everywhere!

It's like a bad joke. Thursday night I noticed a bug in our bedroom while we were in bed watching TV. So Patrick got up turned on the lights tracked down the bug and killed it. We thought that was it until I went into the bathroom and noticed 3 more. So like the man of the house that he is, Patrick caught and killed all 3 bugs and decided to look around the house for more. He found another 6 in the kitchen, 2 in the down stairs bathroom, 2 in the guest bedroom and 3 in the guest bathroom. We were on a mission for a good 4 hours tracking down bugs. Where they were coming from, we haven't a clue. We thought that was it so off to bed we went. I woke up early because I was super itchy and that is when I noticed I had been bit on my hands, arms, back, legs, face .... etc. Patrick was luckier then me since he had only been bit on his leg and back. We again started looking for bugs and sure enough we found plenty more.

You have to understand in Vegas it is very uncommon to find mosquito's unless there is standing water near by. But in our situation there isn't. To find this many mosquito's is just odd. So I called the exterminator who told me in order to get rid of this many mosquito's he would have to bug bomb the house. Meaning we would have to leave the house for at least 8 plus hours. So on Saturday we took off to my mothers while the exterminator did his thing. Patrick now has it in his head that it is a sign that we should stop trying to buy this house and really push forward with buying either a new house from a builder or a bank owned. Not that I would mind having a brand new house but it's 110 degrees and moving just does not sound like fun right about not. But to make Patrick happy tomorrow I have made appointments to go look at afew houses. Hopefully they will all be mosquito free.

Better then I expected

The judge was female and was very sympathetic to my situation. She heard me out and after hearing about how the attorney's office had someone break in back into the house back in March and change the locks on me she wanted to hear nothing from the banks attorney. It was a great victory for me. The attorney on behalf of the bank asked I be evicted effective immediately and the judge refused. Granting me the 30 days I need to either find another home or work out a deal with the bank to buy this house. She even advised the attorney to have there client call me to try to work out a purchase option. I am very surprised with the outcome but very happy. I was so nervous going in front of all of the people waiting to have there case be heard. I am super bad at public speaking but the judge made me feel very comfortable and in the end it worked out way better then I expected.

Court Tomorrow

Yep that is right I have court tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. to see if the judge will grant me a 30 day extension. It's me vs the bank, hopefully I will get lucky but right now I am not feeling to great about this entire situation. Ideally I want to buy this house but the bank and there attorney refuse to acknowledge me. They are trying to avoid a cash for keys situation But I don't want cash I just want the house. No matter how many times I try to explain that they just are not hearing me. So tonight I have prepared a ton of paperwork to bring with me to court as well as a purchase agreement and a check for the earnest deposit. Hopefully if I walk in and wave money in there face they will take me seriously. Doubtful, but a girl can dream right. If I walk away a loser tomorrow I should be granted at least 10 days to vacate. That leaves me with 10 days to find a rental or try to buy something and close fast. I could pull off the closing fast since the bank doing my loan is a direct lender and a good friend of mine. She has guaranteed me loan docs in 24 hours if I find something I like and have an acceptance in hand. Anyway fingers crossed that when I wobble into court tomorrow the judge takes pity on my and is at least fair with his decision.

I am exhausted

All I want to do is sleep. This weekend I had my first of what I call cravetastrophe. It was about midnight and we were watching TV when a commercial for pizza hut came on. All of a sudden I had to have pizza., So I asked Patrick to order me one. He thought I was joking and started laughing at me telling me how funny I was. But I was not joking I was dead serious, I wanted pizza and I wanted it at that exact moment. In my moment of craziness I started crying uncontrollably I remember flailing my arms like a baby and telling him how big of a jerk he was. I turned over to face away from him and fell right to sleep. The next morning, (or should I say afternoon since I didn't wake up until almost 11:30) I felt so bad for the way I acted I could not even look Patrick in the face. Thankfully I have a great husband who made light of the situation and made sure to get me pizza for diner that night. I have to tell you I have had little to no cravings throughout this pregnancy. Half the time the thought of food grosses me out and I have to force myself to eat. But as I am getting near the end, all I think about now is food. I have managed to loose 20 lbs while pregnant and only regain 6 of the 20 lost. Meaning I am still down 14 lbs from my before pregnancy weight. I have had such amazing self control and now I feel like I am making up for it.

On the house front we have had no luck finding anything we like. And when we do find houses we like they have to many offers to try to beat out. I did get served paper work on our rental stating there is a hearing date set up for July 6th. My attorney and I are going to show up at court and make sure the bank acknowledges that there is a tenant in place and that I am interested in buying the house. Hopefully now we can start getting somewhere with the bank and can buy this house. It would be much easier to buy then attempting to move right about now. Other then that I am boring. Hopefully something exciting will happen this week and I can have a new exciting post. But for now it's 4 p.m. and I need a nap.

28 weeks and some new pictures of Gage

7 Months today, can you believe it! I never thought I would make it this far, with our history of bad luck and just the sheer denial I was in that it was never going to happen. But here I am 7 months, still alittle cautions that this is all a dream and I am going to wake up and be disappointed. To mark the day Patrick, my mother, my sister, my nephew, my MIL and my Step FIL went as a family to watch me have a 3d ultrasound. It was truly amazing looking at our little boys features. From his chubby cheeks to his daddy's nose it was amazing to see. With all of the space this little boy has to move around he insists on being down as low as possible. And the funniest part of that, after watching him for about 45 minutes you could tell he really enjoys being folded up with his feet in his face. He was a sight to see. After the first 20 minutes or so you could see his attitude come out. He started acting like we were invading his privacy and started covering his face as much as possible. Even his expressions started to change and you could see his angry face. I am attaching the best of the pictures that were taken. I would attach them all but that would take all day =)

Happy 86th B-day grandma

After all that she has gone through, I am so glad to be able to wish my grandmother a happy 86th birthday.

Thank you Chele

Yesterday before my L&D debacle I received a package from Chele filled with lots of goodies for Gage. It was such an amazing gesture I just had to share. Here are some pictures of all the fun stuff we received.


Thank you so much Chele for all of the wonderful goodies. Words can not describe how touched I was when I opened the box and saw all of the clothing, books, towels and toys you had sent. You have been an amazing support system to me throughout my 2 1/2 years of TTC and now through my pregnancy. I am truly blessed to call you my friend.

My first trip to L&D

Yep that's right I did something really stupid and landed myself in Labor and Delivery. So here is the story ...

Saturday night I get a call from my cousin to go bowling. Thinking nothing of it Patrick and I decide to go. Originally I decided not to play but somehow get talked into it. I finish my first game with the best score I have ever received in bowling a 143. ( I know not good but for me, I usually never break 100) then we start the second game I make it 3 frames in and start getting super exhausted. By the end of the 10th frame I am in pain. My back is clicking like something is rubbing and I just hurt all over. Patrick and I go home and go to sleep, and when I wake in the morning I can barely walk. Everything hurts and all I wanted to so way lay in bed. My pelvis is super swollen and even doing something as simple as going to the bathroom to tinkle hurts like hell. Patrick convinces me I must just be sore since it has been 3 months since I had gone bowling previously. So I spend the day in bed. The following morning I am still hurting pretty bad. So I make the call to my OB who quickly tells me to go to L&D to have my back & pelvis checked out. We arrive I get checked in and hooked up to a monitor, my OB comes down to check on my and tells me that the cartilage in my back must have bent alittle and that is the cause of the clicking in my back. As for my pelvis, just the act of bowling itself must have irritated it. The nurse informs me that during pregnancy your body secrets a hormone that softens the cartilage in your body to help the baby pass through your pelvis and the birth canal. Had I known that before I would have opted out of bowling. They give me a shot of morphine and send me on my way. By the time we reach my house I am completely drugged out of my head and can barely make it up the steps to my room. By 5:30 p.m. I am completely passed out only to wake this morning at 10:30. I have been in and out of sleep for most of the day. And that is my exciting story for the day =)

My friends I need your help

I have never asked for anything like this, but then again I have never needed to. I have a good friend in a rough situation, he fell in love with and married a woman that was in the country on a student and then work visa. They have been together for quite some time now and in 2006 decided to get married. They later renewed there vows in a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic not thinking they would have trouble coming back to the US and sure enough she was not aloud access and put on a 3 year block meaning for no reason during the next 3 years is she aloud to enter the US. That was a year ago and since then they have been fighting tooth and nail to get that ban removed and have her return to the country being she is married to a US citizen. My good friend Le'Von for the past year has been paying countless attorneys and outrageous fees trying his hardest to make something happen. He has been traveling back and forth from California to Norway for the past year reluctant to leave his wife's side as the stress of the situation is taking a toll on her. Recently they found out they were having a baby and that lifted there spirits enough to push alittle harder so that the baby can be born in the USA. On Monday she had a meeting at the US consulates office in Norway where she was not only treated horribly she was again denied access back to the US. The representative even had the nerve to tell her she was better off having the baby in Norway (like anyone was asking this woman for her opinion with this very personal matter). My friend Le'Von and I put together a petition that we just started spreading around. In hopes that it will accomplish something to help with this matter. Our goal is 1 thousand signatures. And I know that if we push hard enough we can make that happen. I know some of you already signed after reading my post on facebook (Chele I really appreciate that). I ask that if nothing else you read Le'Von's letter and hear the full story of what he and Danielle are and have been going through and you make the decision at that point to sign or not sign. I will not hold it against anyone if they choose not to.

Thank you for taking to time to read this =)
Amy

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Bring-Danielle-Purvis-Warr-Home

It's almost time to say goodbye

This coming week is my nephews last week living in Nevada. Come Monday the 22nd his new home will be Tennessee. I map quested it, and from my front door to my sisters new apartment is exactly 2075.08 miles. Now don't get me wrong, I'll miss my sister as well. But not as much as I will miss Reece. Hopefully in a year after my sisters job contract is over she will come back. But I'm not going to get my hopes up to high. I'm really going to miss his cute little face and his wild little personality. I just never in my wildest thought that my sister would actually move so far away from her family. All I can do in the mean time is continue to spend as much time with him as possible and hope that he doesn't forget his Aunt Amy.

Reece and Molly playing in his baby pool

Reece playing at the splash park

Happy Birthday Sabrina

Today is my youngest sisters 15th birthday. I can't believe she's fifteen already. She has been through so much in her short life and it still amazes me that she turned out as well as she did.

Here is alittle background on all that she has been through. (First off it's important for you to know before reading this that she is not my blood sister, she is my stepfathers daughter from a previous relationship.) Back in 1993 my stepfather was dating a woman that had become pregnant with my stepsister. At the time she just disappeared and did not tell him that they had conceived a child together. On June 4th 1994 my stepsister was born and my stepfather was named on the birth certificate. (At the time the father did not have to be present to be listed on the birth certificate) Shortly after my stepfather ran into the ex while she was out with Sabrina and that is when he first learned he was a father. He had tried on many occasions to visit and spent time with my sister but the ex would have none of it. She was constantly moving and he was always unable to locate her. Later she married and had two other children (2 little boys). At one point she contacted my stepfather and asked him to sign away his rights so that her new husband could adopt Sabrina. My stepfather refused and insisted on seeing Sabrina to no avail. Years went by with no contact between the two, and while my father continued to search for her he never had any luck. In 2005 my stepfather was served child support papers while at work and eagerly responded. He went to court on the assigned date to see about getting some sort of custody and to his disbelief learned of all the horrible things my little sister had gone through. Her mother and the man she had married had divorced. Her mother had become a hooker and a drug user and was randomly dropping Sabrina and her two brothers off at a local burger king that had a play center inside. Finally after years of doing this she just never came back and the kids were taken by the state to be put in foster care. At the time we had learned of this, Sabrina and her brothers were in there 2nd foster home living only 5 miles from where we lived at the time. Two months of paper work and Sabrina was taken from the foster home and able to come live with my mother and step father. Unfortunately since the boys were un related to us they would not allow us to take them as well. They remained in the foster home for a year before they were able to be adopted. Both boys were adopted out to the same home but the older one Kenneth tried to kill himself and was quickly removed and placed in a mental facility, where he remains today. The younger of the boys James was adopted by a gay man with lots of money that has since spoiled him rotten and given the life he deserves. As for Sabrina she has had to overcome alot in her 4 years of living with her father and my mother. Although she has many more years of therapy to cope with all that she has been through and all that she has seen, she has still turned out to be a wonderful person. And I am proud to call her my little sister.

Changes

So much has been changing in these past few weeks it's getting alittle overwhelming for me.

First with my Peri moving and me having to switch to another Dr in the practice.

Second was my due date change. Although it was only moved up 5 days I am starting to feel overwhelmed. Especially since my primary OB confirmed the 3 week early induction when I saw him on Tuesday. I feel like time is just ticking away. I have so much to do and not enough time.

Third is my sister moving to Tennessee with my nephew. I have not spoken about this at all because I haven't wanted to confront the fact that she's leaving me and moving super far away. I guess I have no choice but to face the facts since the movers came yesterday and she started driving today. My nephew is going to stay with my parents for 2 weeks while she waits for the furniture to be delivered and gets situated. Not getting to see him all the time is going to kill me. But for the next 2 weeks I'm going to pick him up every day from day care and suck up as much quality time as possible. We might even skip a day of daycare and have a fun play day.

Fourth change is the house hunt. We have some offers out and if all goes as planned we could be out of this house before the end of June. I'm super excited about moving into our own home but I hate moving and I know it is going to be miserable being pregnant and over 100 degrees outside.

Fifth is we are looking for a new car. Benny (my car) is not big enough for a family, and although that car is my baby I know it's time for a change. Having a sporty car was fun pre kids but I know it will never work once Gage is here.

And finally just the change of having a family is starting to freak me out. What if I'm not a good mom. I know I'm a good mom to Molly but she is a dog and lets be honest I can't do to much damage to her. But a baby on the other hand, so many things can go wrong. I was not the best of kids especially when I hit my teenage years. What if my kid is worse then I was. Oh gosh I would be in for massive trouble.

Am I overreacting?

A friend of Patrick's is having a baby with his wife. This will make baby number 2 for them. There first is only 2 years old and is a boy, and the one on the way is a boy as well. The wife is not the most friendly of people, and I have tried on numerous occasions to befriend her since our husbands use to be such good friend. But she never reciprocated, and I gave up on trying. At the time there first child was born they decided to have a co-ed baby shower since the wife really has no female friend other then her sister in law and well that's pretty much it. Patrick attended the shower while I was out of town for work and in his excitement spent over $200 buying a bunch of stuff from there registry. No biggy since they were his friends. Two years later we have not been invited to ANY of there son's birthday parties and Patrick has pretty much lost contact with the friend. They speak at most every 3-6 months if that.

Well yesterday I went to check the mail and saw an invite to there baby shower. It completely pissed me off. 1. Because I think it's kind of greedy to register for gifts and have a baby shower when this is your second child, and they are so close together in age. And 2. Why would you invite me to your shower when A) your not my friend and B) our husbands don't even talk any more. Am I being totally ridiculous?

Update on my grandmother, and what I have been up to.

First I will update the great news on my grandmother. The results on her biopsy show that the cancer has NOT spread to her lymph nodes. While she does still have a mass in her lungs they are not as concerned since it has not spread. The Dr did want to remove the mass but agreed a surgery like that on an 85 year old woman is to complicated. Thankfully the cancer is not taking over and doesn't need to be treated aggressively. So that was great to hear. You should see just how fast a semi good diagnosis has changed me grandmothers outlook. She pretty much automatically went back to her old spunky ways, and I am very thankful for that.

I have been working like a dog these past few day and have just been so exhausted. All I want to do when I come home is sleep. Thankfully the insomnia I was having is pretty much gone, although there are times at night where I wake up and have a hard time falling back to sleep. I am just thankful to be getting sleep so I will just stop complaining. We did purchase the bedroom furniture for Gages room. Although we are still looking for a house to put it into. ;) I'm hoping I can work something out with the bank and just buy the house we are in now. But we shall see! We have also been looking into a new family car, although Patrick and I have our eyes set on totally different cars. We will see who wins that battle. So as you can see there are alot of changes in the making over these next few months and I could not be happier. Now if only I could change where we live for the next few months, this 100 degree weather is kicking my butt!

Due date change and update on Gage

I had an appointment with my high risk OB today to check on Gage and everything went really well. Gage now weighs a full pound and from his measurements the Dr moved my due date up to the 13th of September. They did an echo cardiogram on his heart and said everything looks wonderful. He had a nice strong heartbeat of 158 bpm. As always Gage was all over the place making it hard for the ultrasound tech and Dr to get a good look at him. At one point the ultrasound tech pushed on him trying to get him to turn around and he pushed back like he had a real bad attitude. My Peri dropped a bomb on me that he was moving in the next month to Texas so he was no longer going to be my Dr. I was alittle sad as he and I have been in agreement as far as my treatment and plans for delivery. He did agree to call my primary OB and go over our plan (I guess we will see how well that works out). We did go over the risks and possible complication during labor and I have to admit I am alittle freaked out. I was totally unaware that it takes 24 hours for the fragmin to leave your system and if I happen to go into labor while it is still in my system or god forbid I need a c-section an epidural will not work. We also went over the risk of hemorrhaging during labor and that alone scares the daylights out of me. Although not high I still have a 3 % risk. As if having insomnia for over a week now wasn't bad enough I now have all of this information going through my head.

Florida trip on hold ='(

I was planning on going to Florida for Mothers day to see my grandmother, but was just informed that the idea of me flying while pregnant is stressing my grandmother out and making her shingles worse. It's not the pregnancy that freaks her out, it's the fact that I'm on the blood thinners that has her worried. Since the biopsy on her lymph nodes is this Friday we agreed that I would wait until she gets her results and then we would plan from there. I just hate having to wait. The thought of never seeing her again is killing me. And although I know that things are not going to go down hill that fast. In the back of my mind, I know that there is a risk of her not being around when Gage is born. I just hate this!!!!!!

Gage's first outfit

Over the weekend I went looking at baby furniture and found the cutest little outfit. I couldn't help myself I had to buy it. The little tail on it cracks me up.

3rd OB check up ... complete

I went today for my 3rd OB check up, so far ... so good! We listen to Gage's heartbeat for a minute on the doppler and my Dr said everything sounded great. After loosing alittle over 15 lbs (thank you morning sickness) I have finally gained a whopping 3 lbs. I tried to discus setting my induction date with my Dr, but it seems my OB and my peri are having a difficult time making a consistent plan. My OB thinks I should switch to heparin and wait to go naturally or be induces 4 days before I'm due. And my Peri thinks that heparin is a horrible idea since there are so many cases of contaminated and poisonous heparin coming from China. His plan was to induce me around 37 weeks and take me off the fragmin 2 days before. They both also disagree on if I should have a regular delivery or a c-section. Thank god I have over 4 months left!

I was really hoping to walk away with a set date so that I can buy my grandmother the airline ticket for mothers day. But from the looks of it now I won't have anything set in stone until atleast the end of June. Oh well!

Zombie Chicken Award

One of my best TTC friends Lynn gave me this Zombie Chicken Award. Lynn was one of my first friends on the ivillage TTC board and always helped me get though the best and worst of times. She will forever remain in my heart! Although I know the TTC road has been very hard on her, I know that she will be a mommy to her own children one day soon. For now she will just have to continue being one of the best step mothers that I know.


"The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…"

Now I've awarded this fancy award to:

1. Amber

2. Bonnie

3. Candi