For some reason I keep having dreams that someone breaks into my home and kidnaps Gage. I guess it's just my worst fear with all of the crazy people in this world. Then this morning I thought my worst fear had come true. Here's what happened ...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Posted by Amy at 9:08 AM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I had to step back from my blog for a minute to sort things out. I needed to get some things in my life back in order and prioritize the things that felt like they were falling apart. In particular my marriage. I knew in order to get him out of his funk and get him back on track we had to stabilize out living arrangements and with that we moved to a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment. Now that we are situated in our new home and Gage has his own room we could spend more time as a family and just enjoy being together. And that we have. In addition I have fully revamped the company I work for and have taken control of getting the office organized and back up to where we once were. We have made lots of great contacts and have partnered up with a direct lender meaning we can now pretty much write our own loans. It's a wonderful feeling having that much control again. With that much business going on I have given Patrick a home working with me to help us advertise and generate new business. The plus side of that, although we both work from home we are both around to take care of Gage. And in addition Patrick can continue to focus on school, and since he is doing something he enjoys he has not been drinking. Things are finally coming together. Slowly, but I can't complain.
I have to admit this has been one of the best and worst years of my life. In one year I have given birth to my son, lost my grandmother to cancer, made some wonderful friends, lost Elaine my best friends step mother (she was like a mother to me) to cancer, watched my little boy grow for 3 wonderful months, almost lost my little boy to meningitis, reconnected with my husband, almost left my husband due to alcohol abuse, finally got to see my cousin that moved to Australia 8 years ago although I wish it had been for better reasons other then a funeral. So much more has happened but these are the events that stick out the most in my mind. 2009 will definitely be a year that goes down in history for me. And although there have been good times and bad, I look forward to what 2010 has to offer.
I am eternally grateful to you girls for supporting me and helping me get through this year. You have all become like a second family to me. Thank you for letting my into your lives.
Posted by Amy at 12:59 PM
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I love my husband don't get me wrong. But how much pain can one person cause you before you have to say you have had enough. Tonight I realized that I am at that point. And although I hate to say it, I'm tempted to walk away. I don't think I have ever talked about Patrick's drinking before but let me start by saying it's pretty bad. To the point I would call him an alcoholic. In our 6 plus years of being together it has gotten worse each year. To some it's funny to watch him get drunk and act a fool. To others the way he act's is beyond annoying and they can't stand to be around him. I am one of those people that finds it annoying.
Patrick knows no limit. He is not capable of socially sitting down with friend and having a drink or two. He acts like a frat boy every time alcohol is around. I am constantly making excuses for him, but I feel that now with Gage around I need to stop doing that. I want to set an example for my son and the only example I am setting now is that it's ok to drink like a fish and act like a loser. I have tried to talk to Patrick's mom and show her just how bad it can be and she makes the excuse of telling me it's in there blood. I just don't know how much more I can take. Tonight I actually asked him to call his mom and have her come get him. I told him I was done and couldn't take it any more. And it's not a lie, I really am done. I just feel like I have been pushed to far. I am tired of making excuses for him. I know he thinks it's a joke and I will get over it in the morning but it's not. I am just at the end of my rope. He refuses help and feels he doesn't have a problem but I know he does. And I know it's not all in my head. I just never imagined I would get to this point.
Posted by Amy at 1:17 AM
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I have been so bad at blogging but that is mainly because I was out of town for a while with no computer. So where do I begin ...
October has been a horrible month for me. I went to Florida in the beginning of the month because my grandma was released from rehab into home hospice care, and wanted to see Gage before she passed. So we caught the first flight out to see her. Before I go any further let me explain what happened to my grandmother because as some of you may back in May we were told that she had lung cancer but the mass had not spread. She was told by a Dr that she had a long life left and many years left to live. Well about a month after the lymph node biopsy my grandmother started having problems talking, and her energy level dropped. Her feet swelled up and she was having a hard time breathing and functioning. She went back to her Dr who told her to wait it out for 6 months and if she was still having troubled come back. Then in August she got to the point where she couldn't even get out of bed she was in so much pain. My mother and Aunt flew out to Florida to see what was going on and upon there arrival had to rush my grandmother to the hospital. This time the Dr's blamed her heart and decided it was in her best interest to have a pace maker put in. After the surgery they put her into a rehab so that she could learn how to function with the pace maker and walk with a walker. The pace maker did nothing to help my grandmother function and her breathing continued to get worse. My mother keep asking if she had pneumonia and the Dr's insisted it wasn't. Questioning the Dr's at the rehab my mother brought in a new Dr to give a second opinion, and discovered my grandmother did in fact have pneumonia. From the new Dr we learned that the lymph node biopsy must have been botched and in the process they must have harmed her epiglottis so when my grandmother would eat or drink instead of the epiglottis closing so food wouldn't get into her lungs it remained open so everything she ate and drank filled up her lungs causing pneumonia. In addition to that opening my grandmother up for the pace maker surgery cause the cancer to spread to most of her vital organs. At that point my grandmother decided she was ready to die and in the beginning of October she was released from rehab and sent home with home hospice care to pass away. At her request all of the grandchildren were flown out Gage and my nephew Reece included so that my grandmother could see us and have us all by her side to say her final goodbyes. On October 8th my grandmother peacefully passed away with Me, Gage, my Aunt Lynn, my Cousin Randy and my mother by her side. On October 10th (Patrick's birthday) Gage had a temperature of 102.7 and I immediately took him to the Dada county hospital. After an hour waiting in the waiting room we were taken back and told an ambulance would be taking us to West Palm Beach hospital pediatrics unit. One quick ambulance ride later we were rushed back into the ER where Gage was given a spinal to check for Meningitis and an IV with antibiotics and fluids. It took 5 days for his fever to break and at one point I was told by the Dr to prepare for the worst. Patrick was stuck out in Vegas taking care of my little sister while my step father and my mom were attending my grandmothers funeral. So for 5 nights and 6 days I stayed alone in the hospital taking care of Gage. Missing my grandmothers funeral and with no help from family. It was the worst week of my life. The day Gage was released from the hospital I decided to fly home. Dr advised me it was the safest time to fly with him since he had antibiotics in his system, so we took a direct flight home and have been back and recovering since. 2 Days after we got back we got a call from the ER Dr that Gage's spinal showed he had viral meningitis. It was a relief to finally know what was wrong with him. But it broke my heart that my little boy was so sick, Even now that we have been back for alittle over a week Gage still has a horrible cough that keeps me up at night making sure he doesn't choke. I'm just so grateful to be home and have me little boy with me. It has truly been a rough month but now that I am back and things are starting to get back to normal I will make sure to post more often. Also since we have been back Gage had his first set of professional pictures taken I will post those and some pictures of him in the hospital so everyone can see how big he has gotten. I hope everyone is well and I will be catching up on my blog reading this week between Gage's naps.
Posted by Amy at 11:35 PM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Posted by Amy at 12:36 PM
Monday, September 7, 2009
Born September 1st @ 1:33 p.m. weighing 6lbs 15oz and 19 inches long. So let me explain why he came a day earlier ...
Posted by Amy at 9:40 PM
Monday, August 31, 2009
I took my last injection of Fragmin last night and tomorrow I go for my Amnio. I am so super duper excited. Wednesday can't come fast enough. I am going to try to post pictures on Gage's baby site from the hospital so feel free to stop in and check. http://www.babysites.com/sites/gagerieger/ if for any reason I can't I will do it on facebook. So for those of you not already friends with me on facebook, feel free to send me a request before 11 a.m. pacific time on Wednesday. http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=Amy+rieger&o=2048&init=ffs#/profile.php?id=560125892&ref=search&sid=560125892.1985297836..1
Posted by Amy at 4:53 PM