Sunday, November 1, 2009

How much bull s&%t can one person take

I love my husband don't get me wrong. But how much pain can one person cause you before you have to say you have had enough. Tonight I realized that I am at that point. And although I hate to say it, I'm tempted to walk away. I don't think I have ever talked about Patrick's drinking before but let me start by saying it's pretty bad. To the point I would call him an alcoholic. In our 6 plus years of being together it has gotten worse each year. To some it's funny to watch him get drunk and act a fool. To others the way he act's is beyond annoying and they can't stand to be around him. I am one of those people that finds it annoying.

Patrick knows no limit. He is not capable of socially sitting down with friend and having a drink or two. He acts like a frat boy every time alcohol is around. I am constantly making excuses for him, but I feel that now with Gage around I need to stop doing that. I want to set an example for my son and the only example I am setting now is that it's ok to drink like a fish and act like a loser. I have tried to talk to Patrick's mom and show her just how bad it can be and she makes the excuse of telling me it's in there blood. I just don't know how much more I can take. Tonight I actually asked him to call his mom and have her come get him. I told him I was done and couldn't take it any more. And it's not a lie, I really am done. I just feel like I have been pushed to far. I am tired of making excuses for him. I know he thinks it's a joke and I will get over it in the morning but it's not. I am just at the end of my rope. He refuses help and feels he doesn't have a problem but I know he does. And I know it's not all in my head. I just never imagined I would get to this point.