Tha Husband Song

My father sent this to me today and I got such a great laugh out of it that I thought I would share

(Update) & IUI #2 is complete =(

So Patrick and I had a long talk after his talk with my step father. And long story short he apologized and said that the comment about loosing the baby being my fault was taken out of context. How one could take that out of context is beyond me but regardless I gave him one get out of jail free pass. I'm still not happy about how everything has gone down this week. But I decided to go through with the IUI this morning anyway. My reasons being 1) my 28th birthday is on Wednesday and It is my goal to have a baby before I am 30. 2) I did not want to regret spending all of that money on injections only to give up on the only part that my insurance covers. And 3) Because I want a baby more then anything in this world and after 2 1/2 years of trying I am just not ready to give up. So bright and early this morning I woke up and popped my 2 valium that my RE gave me in order to help me relax during my IUI as to not have a repeat of our first IUI. Jumped in the shower got dressed and off we went. I had some concerns about if I had already ovulated on my own pre HCG because I had some O like cramps on Thursday before I took my trigger but my RE did an ultrasound and confirmed that I didn't. So at 9:30 this morning I was inseminated with 40 million sperm. And now I am just waiting until my O pains kick in to confirm the timing. It's 4:48 P.M. now and so far I have felt nothing! Oh well, I really don't have high hopes for this month but at least I know I tried.

Thank you all for your support this week. You have no idea just how much I appreciate it. There is no way I could have ever gotten through all of this stress without all of you.

Lost

I don't ask for much. I consider myself to be a pretty good wife. I don't complain when my husband waists an entire weekend drinking beer and watching sports. I don't bitch that every Wednesday after working all day that I have to go with my husband to his bowling league and hang out while he bullshits around with his friends and has a good time. I don't even complain when they decide to bowl a few "practice rounds" after and we end up out until after 11 pm when I have to wake up for work early in the morning the following day. All I ask is that the week of my insemination that he cut out alcohol and energy drinks. Now I understand that it is Thanksgiving tomorrow and he will be watching football and wanting a beer. But I don't feel like I am asking for the world just one week. I am so very sick and tired of being the only one that has to make sacrifices. Since we have been TTC I have cut out caffeine completely, taking daily vitamins not including some of the medications I was on before TTC and the ones that I have started taking since TTC, I have been poked and prodded I have had more people dig around in my crotch then any woman should have to endure. I have had HSG's, SIS's, D&C's, constant blood work and ultrasounds, hormones of disaster, I have had to take Clomid and stick needles in my body to the point where my thigh looks like a pin cushion. I have had to plan my life around shooting up. I have not had a drink in god only knows how long and all this jerk has to do is hump a plastic cup. It's fing bulls*%$. And the fact that he acts like I'm a jerk for asking him not to drink this week just blows my mind. Am I crazy for asking this? Am I making a bigger deal out of this then it needs to be? And why when I explain that I do not want the alcohol to affect his count on Saturday he says to me, Amy the Dr said I was a rock star last time I do not think a few beers this time is going to make much of a difference. Besides did I get mad at you back in July when we waisted all of that money and lost the baby because of you. I hung up the phone on him and have been avoiding his calls ever since. I'm speechless, there is nothing he could say to make that comment ok with me. And now I know how he truly feels. That it's all my fault. It's bad enough that I have been feeling like it is my fault but to have him come right out and say it just hurts.

And so the story goes ...

I now have one 18mm follicle on my left side the other two well they were nowhere to be seen. And I have one 12mm follicle on my right side. Where that one came from no one really knows.

Here is what I think happened: I think that the 3 8mm follicles from last Monday got into a fight. One moved over to the right ovary because it didn't want to be around the other two and so it decided it wanted to go off and grow in it's own. With the travel time from moving it missed afew day's that it should have been growing hence why it is only 12mm. While this was occurring the two that remained on the left side continued to fight and one got kicked out of the ovary to never be seen again. Some might call it murder. But I guess we will never know since the 18mm won't talk.

Ok enough of my crazy talk. I can assume that the 12mm won't catch up by the time I trigger on Thursday night. So from the looks of it, I again only have on good egg come time of my IUI. I do intend to keep soaking me feet in hopes that my little 12mm straggler catches up. Oh well what can you do. My IUI is scheduled for Saturday at 9:30 in the morning. DH is not thrilled about getting up bright and early to diddle in a cup at 8 a.m. but he will have to get over that FAST! So for Thanksgiving I get all the fixings with a trigger shot on the side. Fun Fun!

My nephews new car

My parents bought my nephew a walker shaped like a car and it has quickly become his new favorite toy. He is only 8 months old and already a little speed racer. I went to go see him earlier today and had a good laugh at how cute he was racing around the kitchen island honking his horn. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. He was chasing the dog and following me around, and when I walked out of the room onto carpet where he couldn't go with his little walker he honked his horn and screamed at me. It was to cute!

Insult to injury

Wednesday is Patrick's bowling night. His boss, a fellow co worker and my step father all bowl together on a league. Since the bowling alley is in a casino my mother and I tag along and go out to eat and catch up with one another. So on Wednesday we did our usual and meet at the bowling alley to decide where we wanted to go. When we arrived at our destination we got to talking about my cousin that lives in Australia. And how he was out in NY visiting his mother (my aunt). My mother informed me that he and my other cousin were in route to Florida to visit out grandmother and how it would have been nice if my sister and I would have gone and meet up with them. The hormones must have gotten to me because I immediately chewed my mothers head off saying that if I would have known there plan I would have gone. It really ticked me off. How the heck was I to know that they were going to travel out to Florida. What am I psychic??? My mother realized that she struck a nerve and immediately changed the subject. But not thinking about what she was saying she proceeded to tell me that my cousin that just had a baby in May is trying to get pregnant again. I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom to cry. I know that her comment would have bothered me regardless but the hormones make it 50 million times worse. I have been on such a hormonal roller coaster these past few days. I just don't know how I'm going to handle the holidays being this big of a train wreck. I know that most people don't even realize they are saying anything hurtful. My mother had no clue that what she was telling me would hurt me. But what people don't seem to understand is that I have been at this for so long everything baby related hurts. I just need to find the strength to make it through the holidays. After that I can crawl back into my hiding spot and hope that everyone just leaved me be.

Thanksgiving Survey

Thanksgiving Survey from Quizopolis.com
Where will you be eating this Thanksgiving? - My moms house
Will you be watching a game this Thanksgiving? - of course
How long will you spend eating your thanksgiving meal? - IDK 20-30 minutes
Are you worried about putting on weight this Thanksgiving? - No
What do you normally eat at Thanksgiving? - Turkey, cranberries, sweet potato, stuffing the normal stuff
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? - Turkey
What will you be thankful for this Thanksgiving? - Friends and Family
What is your best Thanksgiving memory? - Last year when I had all of my family and Patrick's family over to eat.
Do you give cards or presents at Thanksgiving? - No
Are you planning on going shopping the day after Thanksgiving? - No if all is planned correctly I will be making a baby that day
Will you be waking up early to hit the sales? - No

Follicle check #1

So I have 3 follicles on the left side and nothing on the right side. The 3 follicles that I do have are nothing great only measuring in at around 8mm a piece. As my RE put it they are slow progressing. I'm really bummed! She canceled my appointment that I had for Monday and moved me to Tuesday. I really would like to have at least 2 good follicles come time for my IUI. I just don't get it. The cycle before she put me on BCP I had produced 2 good follicles on my own. So why can I not do the same on these injections?

How can people be so nasty!

For those of you who don't know, I work in real estate. The company I have worked for over the past 4 years only has 3 employees. My boss, me and Patrick. My boss Chuck spends his day's BSing with builders, clients and looking for potential clients, Patrick is our realtor (although this is not his full time job his second job is in collections) and I run everything! I handle our clients, overseeing construction of new projects (rehabs), rentals, scouting new homes, you name it, I do it. So anyway back to my point of all this. About 2 months ago Chuck had a friend of a friend that needed somewhere to live. I try to make it a point not to mix business & friends as it always ends up bad. The only place I had that was vacant was a mid rise condo that we rent as a vacation rental. Since it is located right on the strip and I had fully furnished it. I really did not like the idea of renting it to someone that was trying to make it there permanent home. But against my better judgement I was talked into it. The girl that moved in (we will call her Heather) came packed with just her clothing. I walked through the property with her and she was impressed with my decorating skills. Complimenting me on having such great taste. I went over the lease with her and she signed it. But when I asked to collect her check from her she suddenly remembered that she forgot her check book and would have to meet with me or Chuck later on that day. I called Chuck as I did not want to leave without a check since it was just not how I operated. He convinced me that he would pick it up from her later. So I handed her the keys and let her know that I refused to list her on the gate (the property is guard gated and no one can come in without being on the gate list) until I received payment and left. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to go wrong. For days I repeatedly asked Chuck if he received the rental payment from Heather and each day I go the same answer. He called and I called we even both stopped by but she was never there or at least never answered the door. Finally Chuck meet with her and she gave him half of what she owed for October but by now we were one week into November. She promised that I would have the money by the 12th but when the 12th came and went I still had not received anything from her. So Chuck and I had a meeting and decided enough was enough so we posted a 5 day pay or quit on the door. And when the 18th (today) rolled around and she had not called or paid we went over to change the locks. We approached the door and could smell a foul odder. What it was I have no clue and hope to never find out. I walked in first and all I could hear beneath my feet was slush slush. I could tell there was water under my feet. Chuck hit the lights and you could hear both of us gasps, I had never seen anything so nasty in my life. Do you hear that I said? The shower is running. Chuck called out, Heather are you here. No one answered back. We backed out of the condo and closed the door. We decided to wait for security to come as we did not know what we were walking into.

Security showed up and walked the condo. They came out 5 minutes later and gave us the all clear to walk in. The shower in the master bathroom was plugged up and left running. It must have been running for a good week as it had soaked every inch of flooring throughout all 1100 sq feet of the condo. All I could do was cry. Plants were destroyed glass was broken, condoms were on the floor. It was like nothing I had ever seen. I walked towards the guest room when the security guard yelled don't be alarmed it is just ketchup. I turned the corner and what looked like blood was dumped all over everything from the walls to the carpet. She even tried to set the bed on fire. My heart broke. Was this an act of vandalism or was she just this nasty. On the kitchen counter was a piece of paper rolled up like a straw. And when I looked at the counter there was white powder on it. Could drugs have played a roll in why they destroyed my clients condo? Who knows at this point. All I do know is that I am so disappointed in myself for not going with my gut on this one. Usually if I am really adamant about something Chuck knows it is for a valid reason and to just agree with me. But in this situation I let someone convince me otherwise. I spent a month decorating that condo. I designated my weekends to the rehab of the kitchen and flooring. I practically lived there for the month that construction was taking place. I hand picked the granite counters, travertine flooring and carpet. I hung TV's put furniture together this project was my baby. I had a plan to buy as many of the bank owned units as my investors could afford in this building, and rent them as vacation rentals since I had such a great response from this one unit. And in five seconds flat all of my hard work was destroyed. To make matters worse when I went to the security gate to inform the guard not to let anyone other then me on premise for our unit he replied you not Amy ... I know her and you are not her. I had to pull out my drivers licence and prove to him who I was. I guess the only way she could get in to the complex was by saying she was me. After I meet with the security guards the neighbor across the hall came over to talk to me and filled me in on something I found real interesting. Heather was a prostitute. From what the neighbor told me she had men in and out of the apartment all day and night. I guess my condo was her little hooker hideaway. The neighbor said she was unsure at first but overheard Heather in the hallway one night discussing prices, With a man that this neighbor recognized right away as a once famous boxer. I can not believe that these things were going on in one of my properties. I have always been a very picky landlord specifically for these reason. I never wanted to be a slum lord and I never wanted these kind of tenants. In my 6 years in this business 4 years of running Chuck's company I have had such a great success rate as far as tenants go. Not to say that I have never had nasty tenants but never anything close to this.

On Schedule for IUI #2

I had a great visit with my RE today. And tonight we start my follistim injections. Ahhhhh what a sigh of relief! She said my ovaries look calm (whatever the heck that means). And I go back on Thursday for my first follicle check. I am just so happy right now. I feel really good about this month. Only thing I have to do before Thursday other then start my injections is go and have one last blood test done to check for PAI-1 (plasminogen activator inhibitor-1). Although I swear I have already been checked for that, and it came back negative. But to appease I will go today and have the test done. I'm off to a good start and hopefully the next few weeks will run just as smooth.

Guess who showed for breakfast!

Yep, she is here, and I am thrilled. I'm finally back on track. Monday morning I have a Dr appointment and Monday night I get to start my injections. Yeah!

Just took my last pill ... And now we wait

That's right I just took my last BCP, hopefully AF will not take forever to show up. If all goes as I have planned it, AF will hopefully be here on Saturday. And come Monday I will be back to shooting up! (If all goes as planned) So with that I leave you with a little South Park Ditty called the period song .....

Dream or Nightmare... Hmmmm

So last night I had a dream that scared the crap out of me. Here's how it went ...

I was in my RE's office to receive the results of my BETA and it came back BFP. I was so excited my mom was with me since Patrick had to be at work. We went into the ultrasound room to see how many little beans were in there and I remember it so clearly I laid down on the table and watched as she pointed out a little heartbeat. It was amazing! Then she started counting one, two, three, four, five, six ....! You have six little heartbeats. My mother was crying with excitement and that is about when I woke up.

Holy Crap could you imagine. I know it is virtually impossible but it still scared the daylights out of me. My RE has at least one patient that I know of that delivered sextuplets (see link http://www.maschemiracles.com/ ) conceived via IUI. So that got me thinking how many is to many and what would I do if we ended up with more then one or two babies. I asked Patrick what he thought and he said well I guess we would do whatever was safest for you and the babies. I could tell that I had freaked him out, but this was something neither of us had thought about. I know that with my RE upping my meds to produce more eggs we will be at a greater risk of multiples. And while I welcome the idea of having two since we have decided we are only going through this headache one time and one time only. What if we ended up with more then we could physically or financially handle. I never intended on being a stay at home mom. I love working and couldn't imagine not, heck with more then two babies I could never afford not to work.

I think I have stressed myself out enough for one day... So with that I have to get my butt back to work so I can save up in case I ever birth a litter of puppies =)

One more day and then the wait for AF begins

Time has flown by and tomorrow is my last night of BCP. I wonder how long it will take AF to show after my last pill? I keep looking in the refrigerator at my follistim cartridges, last night I actually told them that I would be seeing them soon. Patrick looked at me like a had lost my mind. I can't help it I am just so excited! I feel like a little kid around Christmas. Staring at the presents hoping my parents will let me open just one and being told I have to wait till Christmas. (Or in my case Hanukkah) The anticipation is killing me.

My mom decided to have alittle Christmas list fun as well

So of course I called my mother and sister as soon as we got home from my MIL house to read them the ridiculous list that my MIL gave me. And I made sure to send my mom and sister a copy of my list that they got such a good laugh at they distributed it to my mothers side of the family for a laugh. Well all of 15 minutes ago an e-mail from my mom appeared in my inbox with my mothers list. I thought it was pretty funny and had to share. I have a feeling more lists will be coming my way.

WITH THE HOLIDAYS APPROACHING I FEEL THAT WE SHOULD EXPRESS OUR DESIRES TO HAVE A HAPPY HEALTHY HOLIDAY.

I feel a little left out around my holidays as well as yours Amy. Hanukkah is a fun filled dradle spinning time filled with laughter and family. Come light the Hanukkah candles. I feel that Pat should learn the prayer and say it one night during the 8 nights of celebration. I would also appreciate some presents being wrapped in Hanukkah wrapping paper as well if we must X-mas paper. I would liked to be joined during the Passover Holidays at a family dinner filled with Gefilte fish, liver, and matzoh. I would also appreciate your fasting along with me during Yom Kipper it will shed your bodies of sin and cleanse you. ( you cannot brush your teeth drink water and put anything in your mouth for 24 hours.

I am old and can't afford a cleaning girl. Maybe the two of you can help clean once or twice a month that's how often I do the hard stuff, shower etc....I love the Lifetime channel so come watch a movie with me. I'll even make popcorn.

I've always wanted to go to Mexico and any all inclusive vacation to a beach area with a spa etc..save up your extra money. It would be great, if you can pay for our trip. You'll have to watch the dog and Sabrina and knowing Jenifer probably Reece while were gone, you might as well use that time to clean my house so that I can be surprised when I come home to a extra-clean house. Replace everything you eat in the Refrigerator and cabinets (money doesn't grow on trees for food you know). Oh! If you really want to surprise me, mow the lawn, pick up the dog shit, it would make me so happy.

I can use, new jeans, tops, underwear, shoes. Don't buy anything with Rayon in it, it wrinkles to easily, and only machine washable. If you see something you really like that has to be dry cleaned buy it and include a gift certificate to Al Philips the Cleaners..

Please stop shaving Molly, I feel so bad for her after, she looks weird.

Amy a love when you blow out your hair so please do that for me once in a while when you take me out for lunch.

Pat if you could cut down to 10 beers when I'm around you I would feel much better about you destroying your Liver.

Call you grandmother more often, she is almost 86 years old. Who knows how long she will be with us, if you throw in a couple of Jewish expressions during the conversation OY will she be happy.

Rainbow cookies, brownies, Ice cream some of my favorites.
Chinese Wor Wonton soup as well as my own chicken soup (do you want the recipe).
Salad , love salad, Amy why don't you join me in a salad one day. That would take by breath away. I'll treat.

Once in a while it would be nice if you would give me gambling money a hundred or so.

Desperate Housewife, lost

Jose Grobin love his voice, music.

Ice cream sodas,egg creams, jelly candy, jelly beans

So many wants not enough time, years are passing fast. You never know when the end will come. I don't want you to feel guilt after I'm gone so do what you can for me now while I'm still here.

Happy holidays, hopefully it won't be the last. May god bless everyone and keep us all safe

My Christmas list for my MIL

Patrick's response to his mothers Christmas list was just to shake his head in disbelief. He said he is going to have a talk with her about it but I have a feeling he won't. So here is my Christmas list back to her. I would never send it because it is way to mean, but it felt good venting!



#1. Fertility treatment is very expensive and while my mother has contributed to the cause you haven't! I did not want to make you feel left out or have you feel that this is more of her grandchild then yours, since she has helped pay for it. So with that being said checks can be made to Dr L w/ RRF. Or you can get me a gift certificate to Schrafts Pharmacy. One cycle of medication runs close too $2,000 not including what I have to pay to the Dr.



#2. Book swap. I will read the Bible but at the same time feel that it is imperative that you read the Torah. Have your priest call my rabbi and we can make the swap.



#3 I would not be opposed to going to Church but I feel that it should be again a fair swap. So I will go to midnight mass and expect to see you at temple all 8 nights of Hanukkah.



#4 Cookie Exchange! I am all for this but remember we are embracing our new traditions and with that I feel all cookies should be kosher.



#5 I feel that there are some issues that you are trying to work on in your Christmas list but for some reason are unable to come right out and let us know what is going on. I feel it might be in the family's best interest to seek therapy to find out what is making you feel unloved and unappreciated. It is not a competition between my family and yours. I know sometimes you feel like you are the last to know and my family is always the first to know. But if it makes you feel any better I like you more then I like my own father! And he will always be the last to know anything.



#6 I have given you a book to write all about yourself in. I know how hard it must be for you to ramble on and on when you have to write down all of your thoughts. But the purpose of that is so that I can turn the page when I get board. If I have to talk to you and hear all of your rambling chances are I will loose all interest and stop listening, as I have a very short attention span towards anything that comes out of your mouth.



#7 I would take you to lunch but refer back to line 1 when I have informed you that I am spending every penny I have trying to give you the gift of life. Stop being so greedy!



#8 I like jello



#9 Wash MY car. Why does it always have to be about you.



#10 If I don't walk my own dog why would I walk yours. But feel free to come pick up my Molly any day of the week as she would love for you to come take her for a walk. And while your here feel free to say Hi. I really value our "Quality Time"



#11 DVD Maid of Honor, Throw momma from the train ... Any movie to do with annoying mother in law's of just mothers in general.



#12 Burn the recipe to Frito pie no one likes it and I still have diarrhea just thinking about it.



#13 Stop giving me all of the crap that you are to much of a pack rat to throw away. No I do not want Patrick's crib from the 80's as I am sure by now it is very unsafe. I am paying to much to have a baby to put it into a death trap. Also I do not want all of your outdated baby books from the 70's and 80's if the book says the you can put the baby in a hamper or box instead of a crib it is very outdated and should be immediately throw in the trash. That goes for all of the baby name books that only give biblical names. If you do not quit with the bible BS I will be naming your future grandson either Shmuley, Hyam or Asher And your granddaughter Vita, Shoshanah or Rivka do not test me!

My MIL Christmas list of guilt

Yesterday Patrick and I went to visit my mother in law, and to watch a football game with her and her husband. While there we got on the subject of Christmas lists. Every year my MIL asks us for a list and then turns around and gives us a guilt trip about how money is tight. So we never give her a list and always tell her to get us what she thinks we could use within her budget. The annoying part of that is that it is total bull crap and we know that money is never tight it is just them that are the tight wads, and don't like to spend money. Anyway while we were there my MIL pulls out her Christmas list and hands one to us and one to my BIL. I take a quick glance at it and roll my eyes at the things she has put on her list. On the way home I read the list to Patrick and just can not believe what I am reading.
Here is her list exactly as written on the paper she gave us. My comments are in red.
#1 DVD's Kung Fu Panda or Fly Wheel (from the christian book store)
#2 The relaxation CD from Target
#3 Write in on your calender EACH MONTH things like: call Mom once this month, go see Mom once this month, tell Mom a joke, ask Mom about her childhood, grandparents, what she wanted to be when she grew up OR tell her one of these things about yourself!
This is so stupid to me because Patrick talks to her at least once a week when she calls to give us one of her poor me calls. As far as seeing her once a month every time we try to do something with her she either has a headache or her back hurts. And as far as asking about her childhood and what not, I made it a point back when I was pregnant to go and pick her up a grandparents book to fill out all about her and her life. And I sat down and had a long talk about how important it was to me that she fill the book out because I wanted to make sure I had it to pass down to my kids so they would know about there grandmother if god forbid anything ever happened to her.
#4 Go to Church with us 2-3 times this year. I'm not asking for the moon.... yet!
Now my problem with this one is that I am Jewish, not strict practicing but still. My family is jewish some more religious then others and my family would never ask him to set foot in a temple. And would not even bring it up for the simple purpose of not wanting to put him in a bad position. It's not like my MIL does not know I am Jewish so why she would ask that of us/me just makes me mad.
#5 Start a "game night" with the family once a month or two. Games could include board games, cards, some outdoor things.... Remember, I'm old!
Now I would be totally for this but again every time we try to do something with her we get the I have a headache my back hurts lecture.
#6 Pick a verse/chapter in the Bible you might like to know more about or just discuss with is once in a while.
I have never read the bible and I have no intention of it. I've read the Torah but something tells me she hasn't! The fact that she would even ask that of me is just disrespectful.
#7 Do some volunteer work together...Ask about Andre in Steve's class!
I would do volunteer work and have many times. Heck I use to work with an animal rescue and housed half the pound in my old home.
#8 Write me a poem, storey, letter about anything you want .... wishes, wants, dreams, regrets, favorites, dislikes, fears, top 10 things you love about yourself!
#9 Steve (Step FIL) loves almonds & praline pecans. I would love a pair of OU earrings, especially football. I know, I know, more earrings! But I need some for all my OU shirts!!!!!
#10 Wash my car for me!
Ahhhhh your kids are not 5 years old anymore wash your own car! Or I can hire someone to do it for you.
#11 Help put up some of the Christmas decorations, or get them out of the garage!
Again noooooo we have our own decorations to put up, but I will hire someone to put them up for you. Decorating one house is enough for me!
#12 Cookie Exchange! Each of us makes one kid of cookie, enough for everyone else to take 6 or 12 of each. If 6 of us make one kind of cookie, we end up with 3 to 6 dozen cookies, 6 different types! This takes lots of planning ahead!
Now I am a lover of baking but I am not a lover of eating food from other peoples homes that I do not know. Call me paranoid but I just can't eat something from someones home I have never been to. People are dirty and well that's all I have to say about that!
#13 Make Max and Molly for a walk
I am not driving 45 minutes to your house to take your dog's for a walk. That is just ridiculous to ask for.
#14 CD by The Tractors from Oklahoma their Christmas CD. It's been out a long time. I have the tape and have just worn it out.
#15 Invite me to lunch sometime. I'll be on my best behavior and try not to embarrass you. I'll even pay my own way!
Again refer back to the headache, back ache BS from #'s 5 & 3. We have tried to do this many of times but always get the same excuse.
#16 A 5x7 or 3x5 picture of you! It doesn't have to be fancy, formal or framed. Just fun!
I'll get right on that so that you can add it to the pile of pictures that you have of us and do nothing with. Last year she wanted us to take a family photo that we footed the bill for, and when she got the pic's she did not like how she looked in them so she threw them away. We never even got to see them.
#17 Speaking of pictures .... Patrick, I need my pictures back! I want all of you to go through the pictures with me to quickly pick out pictures you would want in a scrap book..... I may try me hand as scrap booking. If I'm not good at it, at least I'll know which pictures I'll need to duplicate for you! I can get started on that!
I can not believe she is asking for the boxed of Patrick's childhood pictures that she made us come pick up one day when she was on a cleaning mission to get rid of everything. As I remember it was come get them or they are going in the trash. And now she wants them back. AHHHHHH NO!
#18 I missed out on so much of your lives when you were little. Now that you are grown and on your own, you are making your own life. Again, I am not much of a part of your life. I miss you and love you so very much but as times, I feel like I hardly know you anymore. It's been 10 years since my mom died and even though we were very close, I still think of things I wished I had asked or said to her, my daddy, too. Please, help me find common ground with you so we can make memories together that you will cherish and want to share with your kids and grand kids long after I am gone.
Now while this makes me feel horrible that she feels this way I think this family us included could benefit from alittle therapy. There is obviously something deeper going on that is causing her to give us this Christmas list of guilt.
#19 Spa towels from JC Penney sage green with the squares or checker board look, bath size, one or two if you get them on sale.
How random to throw this in after that big fat guilt trip. It's just fing this odd.


Now don't get me wrong I love my mother in law but I just have no clue what is going through her head. This is just not a Christmas list and all it has done is make me very mad. Stay tuned for my Christmas list response ....

9 days down only 6 days left ....

And then bye bye BCP! I can not I repeat can not wait to be off this stupid BCP. I have laid out the welcome mat for AF and hopefully she will be here between the 14th and 16th of November. I'm really feeling good about this next cycle. My meds are here and waiting, so that takes away from the last minute call to the pharmacy worried if I ordered on time for overnight delivery or not. And I am starting to get used to all of my new meds. The Metanx made me very nauseated for the first few days and now nothing. So now my daily regimen is Metanx, BCP, Levothyroxine, Baby Aspirin and my prenatal vitamins. It seems like alot but it is really not that bad. I have the alarm set on my phone to remind me to take my pills by 10 P.M. although I take my thyroid pills right when I get up. I am finally getting in to groove of things and it feels great. As soon as I get the all clear I will be adding my follistim injections to my daily regimen. And I have high hopes that I will have a successful BFP soon. I don't know what it is about today whether it's that it's Friday of that I woke up on the right side of the bed but something feels right about today.

My plan for tonight, I'm cooking dinner so when Patrick gets home he will be pleasantly surprised. Not that I don't cook but usually I am at work until the same time as him so I don't start cooking until we both get home. Plus with all of my free time from being home today I cleaned house and pulled all of our winter clothing out of the garage to clean and hang up. So if all goes as planned we will have dinner then go to a movie. Whatever we do I just look forward to spending alittle quality time together and not thinking or talking about babies or baby making. I'm gonna break open a bottle of wine and enjoy the BCP while I am on it. So here is to a good night and hopefully a great weekend!

5 days of BCP down 8 more to go

AF was a monster this month. At one point I thought I was going to bleed to death. But thanks to the Dr in the ER everything is going to be ok.
Today is CD 7 day 5 of BCP and while I am not thrilled to be on the pill, I am thrilled that the time is passing so fast. I am ready to move on to IUI#2 and hopefully have a little Thanksgiving turkey cooking for the next 9 months. I am so scared that I am going to get a BFN and have 2008 be a total failure. I know it's odd to be scared of a BFN especially since we have not even started our cycle. But I keep thinking that we had beginners luck with IUI#1. Patrick and I have had a long talk in preparation for if we do get a BFP. We read up on Lovenox and have decided that with all of the things that we have to do just to get pregnant and all that we will have to do to maintain that pregnancy we are only going to do this to ourselves one time. Meaning if we only get one baby out if this cycle then we stop at that one baby. I have always had dreams of having two kids but I am ok with knowing that might not be an option for us.

TTC has definitely been a roller coaster ride for us. I feel truly blessed that my marriage has been strong enough to survive all of the stress I've thrown at it. I really feel it has brought us closer. We have a new found love and respect for one another. Patrick has seen me at my worst. Through times that I have been so hormonal from clomid, follistim, stress (and the list goes on) times when I was so nasty to him for no good reason other then just feeling like I failed him. He has always stood by me and been there to pick up the pieces. I never imagined I would love him more today then I did 2 years ago when we got married. He truly is the love of my life and I want nothing more then to make him a daddy.

The holidays are upon us as is my birthday. If I get nothing but a BFP for my B-day and Christmas I would be 100% ok with that. If I fail I'm putting follistim on my list of things I want for my B-day and Christmas. I wounder if my family would think I was crazy for asking for that... Hmmmmmm. This year has absolutely flown by and I would say that time flies when your having fun but there was nothing good that came out of 2008. For all of my ivillage girls and anyone else that reads my blogs, I hope that 2009 brings us BFP's, sticky beans and happy and healthy little ones.

Anyway, I have done enough rambling for one night so I am going to get my butt to bed.

Molly Pig

Molly Dressed up for Halloween like a pig this year. She looked so cute I just had to share some pictures of her