WTF?

I've seen some strange things in my day, but today I caught Molly talking a poop in my bathtub! Now I am not going to mention how about 5 minutes earlier I had taken her out for a walk and she also went #2 out there (ok well maybe I will mention it). So we come back in the house and I get on the computer to do some work. About 5 minutes passes and I think to myself is that bitch laying on my pillow again. You see the past few days I have caught her sprawled out on my pillow like she is the queen of my bed and that is her thrown. Not wanting to rest my face on where her butt has been I end up changing my pillowcase every night. Anyway so I walk in to my room and she is nowhere to be found. I walk into the bathroom to get a hair clip and in the mirror I see what looks like Molly in my shower. It strikes me as odd but I think nothing off it as she has not had an accident in the house in over 5 years. I glance down to check on her and sure enough there she is pooping in my bathtub. I throw her a magazine because she might as well have something to read while she is in there and I am definitely going to need something to chase her around the house with when she's done. I can't believe she made it as far as the bathroom and couldn't atleast use the toilet. I mean how rude!!!! And when I went to yell at her for defecating in my bathtub she gave me this face like "It wasn't me mommy, it was my evin twin". Just how I wanted to spend my Monday, Sick and sanitizing the bathtub for 3 hours. And yes I said three hours. I had to use comet with bleach then I had to use scalding hot water and I went back and forth with the two for three hours. Needless to say after the first 30 minutes I was high off the fumes. But on the plus side it did help un stuff my nose.

The worst part of this story is that it gave me a flash back. Fall of 2002 I was living in San Diego. My Fiance at the time we shall call him the insperminator (I will save that story for a later time) and I had just had a falling out and I had just kicked him out weeks before. I was all alone and bored. So without much hesitation I called an old guy pal of mine that I knew lived about 30 minutes away to come visit and keep me company. Yes he was an ex BF we had dated when I was in high school and had kept in touch. Anyway so the ex show up at my apartment with a movie, we order pizza and have a few beers and just hang out reminiscing. Hours pass and more and more alcohol is consumed and at this point I know his intention is to stay the night. But not wanting to make a bad drunken rebound decision I allowed him to sleep on the couch. We say our good nights and off in our own beds we went. I spent an hour or so tossing and turning in my bed questioning if I had made the right decision. Was it rude to put him on the couch. It's not like sleeping in my room meant that we would have to DTD. And just as I sat up to invite him in my room I heard him get up off the couch and walk into the bathroom. And that was when I heard him peeing. Only problem was I couldn't hear it hit water. It was just not the sound that pee makes when it hits the toilet water. I waited for him to flush but instead I heard the shower turn on. Was this man really going pee in my shower? He exited the bathroom and I just had to ask. Without hesitation he replied, "yeah sorry I was drunk and confused". That was the last time I spoke to that ex. Any man that would just pee in the shower I knew was just NOT the man for me. After I kicked him out of my apartment I cleaned the bathroom from top to bottom with comet with bleach but that bathroom was just never the same. Later I heard a story from a mutual friend of ours about how another ex of his caught him peeing in her kitchen sink. I mean who does this kind of stuff!!! Ahhhhh memories ........