My MIL Christmas list of guilt

Yesterday Patrick and I went to visit my mother in law, and to watch a football game with her and her husband. While there we got on the subject of Christmas lists. Every year my MIL asks us for a list and then turns around and gives us a guilt trip about how money is tight. So we never give her a list and always tell her to get us what she thinks we could use within her budget. The annoying part of that is that it is total bull crap and we know that money is never tight it is just them that are the tight wads, and don't like to spend money. Anyway while we were there my MIL pulls out her Christmas list and hands one to us and one to my BIL. I take a quick glance at it and roll my eyes at the things she has put on her list. On the way home I read the list to Patrick and just can not believe what I am reading.
Here is her list exactly as written on the paper she gave us. My comments are in red.
#1 DVD's Kung Fu Panda or Fly Wheel (from the christian book store)
#2 The relaxation CD from Target
#3 Write in on your calender EACH MONTH things like: call Mom once this month, go see Mom once this month, tell Mom a joke, ask Mom about her childhood, grandparents, what she wanted to be when she grew up OR tell her one of these things about yourself!
This is so stupid to me because Patrick talks to her at least once a week when she calls to give us one of her poor me calls. As far as seeing her once a month every time we try to do something with her she either has a headache or her back hurts. And as far as asking about her childhood and what not, I made it a point back when I was pregnant to go and pick her up a grandparents book to fill out all about her and her life. And I sat down and had a long talk about how important it was to me that she fill the book out because I wanted to make sure I had it to pass down to my kids so they would know about there grandmother if god forbid anything ever happened to her.
#4 Go to Church with us 2-3 times this year. I'm not asking for the moon.... yet!
Now my problem with this one is that I am Jewish, not strict practicing but still. My family is jewish some more religious then others and my family would never ask him to set foot in a temple. And would not even bring it up for the simple purpose of not wanting to put him in a bad position. It's not like my MIL does not know I am Jewish so why she would ask that of us/me just makes me mad.
#5 Start a "game night" with the family once a month or two. Games could include board games, cards, some outdoor things.... Remember, I'm old!
Now I would be totally for this but again every time we try to do something with her we get the I have a headache my back hurts lecture.
#6 Pick a verse/chapter in the Bible you might like to know more about or just discuss with is once in a while.
I have never read the bible and I have no intention of it. I've read the Torah but something tells me she hasn't! The fact that she would even ask that of me is just disrespectful.
#7 Do some volunteer work together...Ask about Andre in Steve's class!
I would do volunteer work and have many times. Heck I use to work with an animal rescue and housed half the pound in my old home.
#8 Write me a poem, storey, letter about anything you want .... wishes, wants, dreams, regrets, favorites, dislikes, fears, top 10 things you love about yourself!
#9 Steve (Step FIL) loves almonds & praline pecans. I would love a pair of OU earrings, especially football. I know, I know, more earrings! But I need some for all my OU shirts!!!!!
#10 Wash my car for me!
Ahhhhh your kids are not 5 years old anymore wash your own car! Or I can hire someone to do it for you.
#11 Help put up some of the Christmas decorations, or get them out of the garage!
Again noooooo we have our own decorations to put up, but I will hire someone to put them up for you. Decorating one house is enough for me!
#12 Cookie Exchange! Each of us makes one kid of cookie, enough for everyone else to take 6 or 12 of each. If 6 of us make one kind of cookie, we end up with 3 to 6 dozen cookies, 6 different types! This takes lots of planning ahead!
Now I am a lover of baking but I am not a lover of eating food from other peoples homes that I do not know. Call me paranoid but I just can't eat something from someones home I have never been to. People are dirty and well that's all I have to say about that!
#13 Make Max and Molly for a walk
I am not driving 45 minutes to your house to take your dog's for a walk. That is just ridiculous to ask for.
#14 CD by The Tractors from Oklahoma their Christmas CD. It's been out a long time. I have the tape and have just worn it out.
#15 Invite me to lunch sometime. I'll be on my best behavior and try not to embarrass you. I'll even pay my own way!
Again refer back to the headache, back ache BS from #'s 5 & 3. We have tried to do this many of times but always get the same excuse.
#16 A 5x7 or 3x5 picture of you! It doesn't have to be fancy, formal or framed. Just fun!
I'll get right on that so that you can add it to the pile of pictures that you have of us and do nothing with. Last year she wanted us to take a family photo that we footed the bill for, and when she got the pic's she did not like how she looked in them so she threw them away. We never even got to see them.
#17 Speaking of pictures .... Patrick, I need my pictures back! I want all of you to go through the pictures with me to quickly pick out pictures you would want in a scrap book..... I may try me hand as scrap booking. If I'm not good at it, at least I'll know which pictures I'll need to duplicate for you! I can get started on that!
I can not believe she is asking for the boxed of Patrick's childhood pictures that she made us come pick up one day when she was on a cleaning mission to get rid of everything. As I remember it was come get them or they are going in the trash. And now she wants them back. AHHHHHH NO!
#18 I missed out on so much of your lives when you were little. Now that you are grown and on your own, you are making your own life. Again, I am not much of a part of your life. I miss you and love you so very much but as times, I feel like I hardly know you anymore. It's been 10 years since my mom died and even though we were very close, I still think of things I wished I had asked or said to her, my daddy, too. Please, help me find common ground with you so we can make memories together that you will cherish and want to share with your kids and grand kids long after I am gone.
Now while this makes me feel horrible that she feels this way I think this family us included could benefit from alittle therapy. There is obviously something deeper going on that is causing her to give us this Christmas list of guilt.
#19 Spa towels from JC Penney sage green with the squares or checker board look, bath size, one or two if you get them on sale.
How random to throw this in after that big fat guilt trip. It's just fing this odd.


Now don't get me wrong I love my mother in law but I just have no clue what is going through her head. This is just not a Christmas list and all it has done is make me very mad. Stay tuned for my Christmas list response ....