5 days of BCP down 8 more to go

AF was a monster this month. At one point I thought I was going to bleed to death. But thanks to the Dr in the ER everything is going to be ok.
Today is CD 7 day 5 of BCP and while I am not thrilled to be on the pill, I am thrilled that the time is passing so fast. I am ready to move on to IUI#2 and hopefully have a little Thanksgiving turkey cooking for the next 9 months. I am so scared that I am going to get a BFN and have 2008 be a total failure. I know it's odd to be scared of a BFN especially since we have not even started our cycle. But I keep thinking that we had beginners luck with IUI#1. Patrick and I have had a long talk in preparation for if we do get a BFP. We read up on Lovenox and have decided that with all of the things that we have to do just to get pregnant and all that we will have to do to maintain that pregnancy we are only going to do this to ourselves one time. Meaning if we only get one baby out if this cycle then we stop at that one baby. I have always had dreams of having two kids but I am ok with knowing that might not be an option for us.

TTC has definitely been a roller coaster ride for us. I feel truly blessed that my marriage has been strong enough to survive all of the stress I've thrown at it. I really feel it has brought us closer. We have a new found love and respect for one another. Patrick has seen me at my worst. Through times that I have been so hormonal from clomid, follistim, stress (and the list goes on) times when I was so nasty to him for no good reason other then just feeling like I failed him. He has always stood by me and been there to pick up the pieces. I never imagined I would love him more today then I did 2 years ago when we got married. He truly is the love of my life and I want nothing more then to make him a daddy.

The holidays are upon us as is my birthday. If I get nothing but a BFP for my B-day and Christmas I would be 100% ok with that. If I fail I'm putting follistim on my list of things I want for my B-day and Christmas. I wounder if my family would think I was crazy for asking for that... Hmmmmmm. This year has absolutely flown by and I would say that time flies when your having fun but there was nothing good that came out of 2008. For all of my ivillage girls and anyone else that reads my blogs, I hope that 2009 brings us BFP's, sticky beans and happy and healthy little ones.

Anyway, I have done enough rambling for one night so I am going to get my butt to bed.