Last night I had a dream about and ex of mine. It was really random and ended up making me very emotional. (Gotta love pregnancy hormones) Long story short basically the dream was that we were still together and I was pregnant with his baby. Exactly as far along as I am now. Everything was great and then one day there was a random accident and he died. That's when I woke up crying. The dream felt so real. And all day it has been giving me this feeling of depression. Now mind you we dated back when I was 17 and I am now 28. But he was my first love and well first everything (if you know what I mean). For some reason I decided to look him up on facebook and sure enough there he was. Looking like an older version of what I remember him looking like. Without thinking I requested him as a friend. After I hit the send button I immediately felt guilty. I spoke to a friend of mine who tried to tell me that what I did was not as bad as I feel since we were really good friends even after we stopped seeing one another. But she thinks the reason I am dreaming about him is because of unresolved feelings. I totally disagree with that. I think it's just because my hormones are making me nutty. Plus he was my first and they say you never forget your first. Am I making this a bigger deal of this then it really is? Or did I just do a really really stupid thing?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
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9 comments:
I don't think this is that big a deal. And I don't necessarily think the dream is because of unresolved feelings. You can't control what you dream, and it often makes no sense. I've dreamed that I was dating Michael Jackson, and the dude totally creeps me out!
Now, if you started secretly communicating with him often, that would be another story.
By the way, you give me hope that fertility treatments can actually be successful. And I need that hope to combat my feelings of utter hopelessness. So thanks for being pregnant!:)
Thanks Lauren. Michael Jackson??? Really??? j/k I guess we are all entitled to our odd dreams. My ex was a great guy we called off our relationship because he moved to Chicago. Tried to do long distance but we were way to young and it didn't work. But we remained good friends for a few years until we just stopped talking. I definitely think all feelings are far far gone. I would definitely say it was just one of those random dreams. Although thinking of someone you know and one time loved dying has a way of playing with your emotions. I would love to have him as a friend but that's it. I think in the end if we end up speaking I will definitely tell Patrick about it.
I'm glad me being pregnant gives you some hope. Trust me after 2 1/2 plus years of trying I never thought it was going to happen. But it did and it will for you as well. If you need anything I'm here for you =)
I think it could be a big deal, it depends how you handle it! If you talk to him as a friend, catching up, there is nothing wrong. However, if you still have feelings deep down and feel like you shouldn't be doing it - maybe that is a sign. I personally always think that having an ex in the picture is not a good idea - no matter how long ago it was. I have been burned so many times by guys who were "friends" with their ex's and then was cheated on or left for the ex. Just something to think about! Put yourself in Patrick's shoes and ask yourself how you would feel - answer honestly! That will tell you what you should do. Good luck!
I know, right? Michael Jackson of all people.
lol
I agree with Amber as in it's all in how you handle the situation. Catch up if you want but I would becareful of doing much more than that.........I also agree that the hormones are at work as well.
I will admit (to you) that I have had the same kinds of dreams about my ex. IMO, when you are that close to someone it is hard to completely cut off all feelings. I don't have any relationship/sexual feelings for my ex but I do care about him.
With that said, I don't talk to him anymore b/c it makes hubs uncomfortable. I think that it all depends on how your hubby would feel about it. If he wouldn't like it then you prob shouldn't.
I think it's pregnancy hormones! I have a dream every other night that I've had sex with an ex and I never have those except when I'm pregnant. Of course, after all the dreams, a bunch of weird feelings are conjured up- what ifs and other things, but I think it is just the brains way of working things out. When exes invite me on facebook, I accept long enough to see what they're up to these days and then just 'defriend' them so my mind doesn't wander each time I see an update from them. I think these are just natural things though, not a sign of unresolved issues.
It would definitely never go any further then a Hi how are you conversation. I don't think Patrick would mind to much since he has an ex or two on his myspace and I have never had a problem with it. But having a dream about another man would piss him off. Fortunately for me we have no control over our dreams. But I still get very guilty conscience over things like that.
Not a big deal at all. I agree with you, just hormones and seeing people we used to have connections too can be really neat. :)
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